LEGO Arkham Asylum, Part 3

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and Part 2

{[REMINDER: Hit play on the video and then read ahead at a normal pace for the full soundtrack-esque experience!]}

Batman had just dispatched a couple of unlucky thugs and was now surveying the scene at Arkham Asylum, which was now under the control of the Joker. From his perch on the Gargoyle, Batman spotted a new threat who he wasn't prepared for...

"Ah, Batman, I was wondering when you'd show up!" The Scarecrow's gangly frame was not likely to strike fear into the powerfully-built caped crusader, but the long gothic halberd he had stolen from one of the stone guardians at the gate was a very real danger... and who could tell what deadly concoction he was holding in his left hand. Plus, the fact that he was standing on top of a precarious rooftop meant that anything could happen.

"Hello Dr. Crane," scowled Batman. "I didn't think you were due to be released for another two life sentences."

"The Joker arranged this early parole for me," responded Scarecrow. "But that's nothing compared to what I have arranged for you. You see, this mushroom," he held up his left hand, which held an oddly shaped, red and white spotted lump of fungus, "grows deep in the underground caverns of Arkham Island. I've used its unique extract to create my most potent fear toxin ever! I knew you'd be dying to sample it, so I've taken the liberty of coating your precious gargoyles in the stuff before you arrived!"

Batman started to feel woozy. Could he be bluffing? Could this just be the residual effects from his... experimenting earlier in the Batcave. But no, this feeling was unlike any he had felt before. Every muscle in his body seemed to be paralyzed with pure dread. No! he thought to himself. Can't give in! Got to fight it! He dove from the gargoyle and adopted his most intimidating fighting stance, but Scarecrow only responded with his trademark grim laughter. The villain's form seemed to grow larger and more menacing before his eyes. His eyes turned a glowing shade of red and his form towered over the Dark Knight. Now he raised his giant flaming halberd for a deadly strike...

In a desperation maneuver, Batman dove towards his foe and landed under the reach of the swing. As the spear clanged to the ground harmlessly, Scarecrow's form seemed to flash back to ordinary size, and Batman did not miss the opportunity. He ducked in and grabbed the Scarecrow by the collar preparing to deliver a finishing right cross, when suddenly he felt a stinging sensation in his left arm. When Scarecrow had dropped his weapon, he drew a concealed pressurized syringe, which he had just jabbed underneath our hero's outstretched left arm. The shock to his system was too much, and Batman slunk forward, helplessly staring up at his victorious enemy...

Batman awoke in a cold sweat to the sound of thunder and the flash of lightning. Rain pelted down on the windshield of the Batmobile, but our hero wasn't driving. He was chained up in the passenger seat, helpless and babbling like a fool. And who was at the wheel but Batman's greatest arch nemesis, the Joker! With another flash of lightning, Batman found himself strapped to the Clown Prince of Crime's former Hannibal Lecter-style restraints, but with Harley Quinn and the Joker leading the way instead of Guards Cash and Boles. Batman struggled desperately to get free, but to no avail. They stopped when they reached Scarecrow, who was waiting for them in the hall ahead.

"Just got to check your prisoner, dear," said Scarecrow, consulting a chart.

"Better make it quick. He's not looking too good," mocked Harley.

"No, he's not," replied Scarecrow, noting something in his chart. "We really should feel sorry for him. He never fully got over his parents' death. It left him quite insane." He brought his masked face sickeningly close to our hero. "What is going on inside that head of yours, Wayne?"

Batman lunged forward, straining at his bonds. "Cut me free!" he shouted with all his might.

The Scarecrow recoiled and briefly cowered behind his clipboard before composing himself. "Bah, he's gone! Just a twisted shell of a man. We don't expect you to accept your new home easily, Batman, but at least I promise your stay here won't be long!" Scarecrow let out a burst of laughter more hideous than ever before. "He's all yours, Joker!"

"Excellent!" exclaimed the clown prince of crime, drawing a large pistol from his belt. "I've waited a long time for this, Bats. Let's start the party... with a bang!"

He pointed the weapon at our hero and with a shriek of evil laughter, squeezed the trigger...

A Gotham traffic light turns from green to red. A chubby, balding motorist named Charlie nonchalantly drives his beat-up jalopy into the intersection when he suddenly has to slam on his breaks. A small purple motorcycle screeched into the intersection, skidding into a sharp turn, and speeding off past Charlie's driver side window. At the controls was a woman in a black skintight bodysuit wearing a helmet decorated with cat ears. He caught the glint of moonlight catching off a diamond that was flying out of her Santa Claus-style loot bag.

The diamond plinks on the sidewalk and up into the outstretched hand of someone riding a gigantic black motorcycle, a real big one, like Vincent Black Shadow sized, which was bat-themed, naturally. The bike skidded nearly to a stop around the corner in front of Charlie's car, and Charlie heard the rider (upon whose red vest he could clearly discern a stylized letter R) say, "Well, score one back for the Gotham Jewelry Exchange," before slipping the diamond inside his belt and roaring off in the direction of the purple bike.

Robin opens up the throttle, the wind speeding through his miniature cape and across his sleek helmet. He knew that Catwoman's cruiser was no match for the Batcycle on a straightaway, and she had nowhere left to turn. He was gaining more and more ground when... **BEEP** **BEEP** **BEEP** blasted the warning siren of the mobile Batcomputer network into his heads-up display. **URGENT MESSAGE REGARDING STATUS OF: BATMAN** **PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE**

The Boy Wonder instinctively slowed down to a more maneuverable speed before announcing, "Acknowledge," into his headpiece.

**MOST RECENT BIOLOGICAL SCANS FROM BATMAN'S SUIT** continued the computer, **REVEAL HE IS IN CONSIDERABLE PHYSICAL DISTRESS** **ADRENALINE LEVELS ABNORMALLY HIGH** **MASSIVE FEAR REACTION DETECTED IN THE AMYGDALA OF HIS BRAIN** **HALLUCINATIONS VERY LIKELY**

"SOUNDS LIKE... /ahem, sounds like the Scarecrow to me!" muttered Robin, not so much to the computer as to himself. "Computer! what is Batman's current location?"

**SEARCHING...** **FOUND: ARKHAM ASYLUM, ARKHAM ISLAND DISTRICT** **MAKE A U-TURN WHEN SAFE...**

"I know how to get to Arkham Island, you moron!" shouted Robin at the computer, as he executed an elegant 180-degree turn. "Sorry, Computer, you're not a moron. Go ahead and pump the audio recordings gathered from Batman's helmet into the PA system. I promise I'll drive very safely while I'm listening.

"Well, looks like it's hero-rescuing tonight instead of bagging the babe with the cash," he muttered, definitely to himself. At least the trip over there won't be boring if I get to listen to some of Professor Crane's theatrics on the way."

As Catwoman drove on, fastidiously checking her mirrors, she couldn't help but notice that her pursuer had ground to a halt and changed directions. She didn't stop, because of course it could be a trap, but she knew deep down that her night wasn't going to end after depositing her spoils at her safehouse. Maybe she would be able to hunt more than diamonds tonight...

The familiar chime of the Arkham Asylum PA System rings through the air as Robin surveys the scene from a giant tree bordering the grounds, his helmet replaced by a sneaky-looking hood. "Greetings all new residents of Joker Asylum," came the Joker's voice over the speakers. "This is the Joker here, your new lord and master with an urgent bulletin. We have the Bat! No joke! We tied him up and locked him in Poison Ivy's airtight anti-plant cell, and we're taking bets on how long he'll last! So make sure no one else gets in here and spoils the fun before I can make some money!" He burst into a trail of laughter as Robin grit his teeth and took note of how many guards were patrolling the courtyard. He counted three, all spread out, so he dove from the tree and crouched behind the closest one, holding a pistol, who was psyching himself up.

"No way anyone's stupid enough to come in here and mess with us!" he growled. "We've got this whole place sealed, no way in or out. I'd like to..." But before he could finish his boast, he felt a hand go over his mouth at the same time as he was flipped backwards. Blood rushed to his head and he quickly fell into as pure a state of rest as he had known in a long time. But Robin didn't have long to admire his handiwork as Joker's voice blared over the speakers once again.

"You know, boys, I can see the feed from all those security cameras," he went on excitedly, "and I'm watching one of you going sleepy-bye right now, thanks to that caped teenage creep!" Robin noticed for the first time that he was staring right into the lens of a camera mounted on the gate. "Stop him, you fools, before he gets any further!"

"Aw, nice one, Tim," Robin admonished himself. "Master crime-fighter, geez." A well-placed R-style shuriken went right through the glass creating a shower of sparks and a broken camera.

"Hey, over here!" shouted one of the remaining guards, desperately clutching an assault rifle. "I heard something!"

Robin ducked behind a pile of rubble just in time to see two thugs in cover formation burst out from behind an overturned truck. The one leading the way shouted back, "Found him! Man Down, over here!" The two thugs quickly rushed forward and huddled over the body. "Come on, do you hear me? Wake up! Dammit, he's out cold. What do we do now?"

The third guard, who was armed with a combat shotgun, stood a ways back, surveying the scene. "We gotta find him, or we're next. Robin? Can you hear me? Show yourself!" Suddenly a metal object came hurtling over the guards shoulder and embedded itself into the truck next to his nose. "What was that!?" cried the guard, wheeling around to face the threat. He was answered by a rough slap on the shoulder, as if someone had given him a congratulatory pat on the back, or had planted a small device on him, let's say. He wheeled around to find himself face to face with his target.

"Here I am, bro," offered Robin. In one of his shrugging hands he held a small device with a button. "What do you think?" The guard half-smiled/half-snarled and raised his shotgun, but Robin's thumb was faster. With an almost inaudible beeb, he activated the snapflash, which immediately exploded into a burst of smoke. The thug to which it was attached got blown back against the truck and landed on the ground with stars in his eyes. The second guard, who was a little bit further away, was not hurt, but felt himself engulfed by smoke. Robin dashed into the fray, extended his staff, and brought it down hard on the skull of the downed thug. Consciousness quickly left him.

"Where the hell are you, you little creep!?" the second guard shouted, firing blindly towards the smashing noise with surprising accuracy. Robin had to quickly activate the staff's bullet shield to protect himself. When a couple of shots pinged harmlessly off the shield, Robin deftly leapt to one side, while simultaneously pulling out his grapnel gun. As soon as he caught the first glimpse of his enemy through the smoke, he fired an accurate shot that attached directly to his target's arm. Robin relished the sound of surprise as the metal prongs gripped into his clothes and flesh for just a moment, before activating the spring-loaded retraction mechanism that sent him hurtling toward the thug. Sometimes you get a shout of fear from these guys as they see you flying towards them, thought Robin to himself, as he accelerated towards a flying kick. But cuz of the smoke, this guy literally won't know what hit him. It all seemed to happen in slow motion, the moment of impact, the sickening BAM / SPLAT sound, and a limp body on the floor.

"Alright, Robin exclaimed, ducking behind the truck and activating his in-mask GPS. "Let's see if I can put a crimp in whatever Poison Ivy has in store for old Bats tonight." He marked the location on his map and sped off into the night...