LEGO Arkham Asylum, Part 2

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On the outskirts of Gotham City, far from the dark gothic mass of Arkham, stood stately Wayne Manor, home of billionaire playboy/entrepreneur/philanthropist Bruce Wayne. Gotham's most eligible bachelor has just pulled his expensive car into the driveway, the engine still hot from his 14-mile commute from Wayne Tower, where he spent his day at the helm of WayneTech Enterprises. As you can imagine, he's kind of a big deal - just look at his expensive suit, well-defined cheekbones, and perfectly coiffed hairdo.

His faithful butler, Alfred, took the car and drove it around to the expansive garage as our hero rushed to the false bookcase in the study and took the hidden elevator down to his second home: the Batcave! Built in a network of caves underneath the foundation of Wayne Manor, the Batcave is the secret base of operations of Gotham's trademark hero, Batman, housing a garage and hangar big enough for his various Bat-vehicles, an armory stocked with Bat-Gear, and a state-of-the-art $50 million computer. It was at this computer that Bruce Wayne sat down and activated a secret panel underneath the desk, exposing a shiny herbal vaporizing device. Wayne was not a man to indulge in the idle vices - this device was filled with a compound synthesized from a chemical Batman had collected from his last run-in with the Scarecrow's minions at the Health Springs Spa. Better to try to build up an immunity, rather than get caught off guard again, Wayne thought, as he took a long draw from the pipe.

"Computer," coughed Wayne through a wisp of hazy blue smoke. "Activate random case file. Display onscreen." The computer's familiar clicking and whirring echoed through the cave as images started to flash across the screen. Whenever Wayne had any free time, which was rare given the responsibilities inherent in living a double life, he liked to review the extensive case notes he took every time he donned the Batsuit to fight crime. But as the computer settled on a particular file, Wayne gasped sharply. Not this one, he thought. Not today. Batman had Poison Ivy secure in his holding cell, but Bane, under the influence of her mind-altering pheromones, had sought her out, broke into the Batcave, and waged a fierce battle to rescue her. It was one of the rare missions Batman had ever had to work on his home turf. It was also the last mission he ever worked with the second Robin, Jason Todd...

But before the memories had time to fully sink in, Wayne's attention was drawn by the bright flashing and loud blaring of the "ALERT" siren. Thanks to Wayne Enterprises technologies, the Batcomputer had a direct, semi-legal link into all emergency broadcast frequencies in the city, ensuring that Batman would always have a leg up on the criminal population, often hearing of events before even local law enforcement. This transmission was coming from Arkham Asylum, so it took highest priority (i.e. had the brightest flashing and loudest blaring).

"This is Arkham Guard Frank Boles," came the voice over the speaker. "We are experiencing a code red escape attempt! Guard Cash and Dr. Quinzell are trapped upstairs with the Joker and he's locked off all communications. He somehow gained access to the entire mainframe. I don't know what's going on, but we're gonna need backup over here, n..." But Boles's voice was abruptly cut off by the gruesome sound of regulation plastic polymer smashing into human skull, followed by the unmistakable laugh that can only come from one man: the Joker. Then nothing but haunting static.

In a flash, Wayne was out of his chair and running full speed to his quick-change chamber, a gadget he had specially built for a time just like this when time was of the essence. The quickest route to Arkham was by air, and the Batwing's autopilot was competent enough that he would be able to prepare for whatever situation awaited him by reviewing the Arkham security feed on the heads-up display via satellite uplink. Wayne settled himself in the quick-change chamber and drew a deep breath as he pushed the button that would complete his transformation into...

BATMAN!

Back at Arkham Asylum, Joker had wasted no time making himself at home. The sedated form of Aaron Cash sat twitching and frothing at the mouth, strapped into the patient observation chair. Frank Boles and what was left of his face sat slumped over the guard desk at the entryway. The sound of alarms echoed through the halls - a haunting accompaniment to the screams of the guards as they were brutally overtaken by swarms of released criminals and henchmen. Joker took it all in, humming to himself as he playfully wandered through the cell block, meticulously destroying each security camera or Arkham guard he came across, with his newly-minted henchwoman at his side.

"Harley, my dear," he chuckled, wiping off his knife. "I do believe this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship."

"Oh, Mister J!" squealed Quinn, deftly leaping up and slicing the power to a camera high on the wall overlooking the computer in the Security Control Room. "Do ya mean it?"

"Er... Yeah, yeah, sure," responded Joker, more interested in the controls than whatever Harley was saying. "But Batman is sure to be on his way as we speak. Which one of our friends should I let out to deal with him, hmm?"

Joker found just the one. A stream of eerie green mist seemed to seep out of the cell as the door slid mechanically open. A foot stepped out into the mist, belonging to a man dressed in tattered clothes made out of burlap sacks sewn together with the remains of a torn Arkham inmate uniform, then produced the crown jewel of his costume: a ghastly mask that covered his face and extended above his head in the form of a warped wicked witch's hat.

"Here's Johnny!" shouted the Joker, gleefully embracing his newest cohort. "Johnny Crane, that is, FORMER professor of psychiatry at Gotham University, give it up for him, folks!" But instead, the shouts of violence and revelry seemed to die down in the Scarecrow's presence. All the remaining guards and even some of Joker's braver henchmen skittered away before the master of fear, whose only response was a burst of grim laughter. Lightning strikes here, why not.

"Say, think you could whip up a batch of that fear gas of yours before ol' pointy-ears shows up?" inquired Joker. "I don't care how you do it - maybe it involves eating a big fear burrito, I don't know - but I think it would be hilarious to use the security cameras here to videotape "our hero" going completely out of his mind!"

"Yes!" responded the Scarecrow. "Simply point me towards the laboratory and I shall make the bat cower before me!" Then more laughter, from both of them, then out.

Smash to: Fade in: Main Gates of Arkham Asylum. Pan up to reveal the Arkham building far across a wide expanse of courtyard, which is deserted, save for some flipped over/burning trucks and a few henchman wandering around causing trouble. Suddenly a rogue Arkham guard rushes out from behind cover and breaks for the gate. One henchman spots him, yells, and signals for two others, who soon give chase. They're just about to surround him when...

A familiar silhouette crosses the moon and the henchman freeze. They simultaneously look up to see our hero Batman, who streaks by in his newest, shininest black Batsuit and his finest hang-glider. He detaches himself from his aerial vehicle and extends his cape, easing himself into a glide, but is still traveling fast enough to deliver a flying kick to one of the henchman at a considerable speed. He goes sprawling onto his back, while another immediately charges with a pipe. He gets a batarang between the eyes for his trouble and staggers back. The third one, who was closer to the fray, manages to throw a big haymaker punch, but Batman goes into aikido stance, Shomenuchi Ikkiyo Tenkan (although he doesn't stop when the henchman taps), and the goon ends up with one less usable arm. The stars disappear from the last thug's eyes just in time to see a Sweet Chin Music that puts his lights out (although he doesn't bother to pin). Batman latches his grapple gun to the nearest gargoyle, hoists himself up there, and surveys the scene, heroically.