MLB 2019-20 Free Agents by Astrology Sign

One week ago today, MLB Trade Rumors posted their list of the top 50 free agents, complete with predictions of where they would end up for next season. Because I'm a compulsive list maker, I quickly organized a hypothetical roster out of the highest fantasy-scoring players on that list. That roster is presented below (along with MLBTR's rankings and predictions at the left), and after that, I present a look at some of the more high-profile names on this list through the lens of my unique baseball perspective, Fantasy Astrology!

Number 1 ranked MLB Trade Rumors free agent Gerrit Cole has also been the number 1 fantasy point scoring starting pitcher for Virgo over the past two seasons, both of which he spent with Houston. But he's been in the Maidens starting five for 4 of the past 5 years, dating back to his time with Pittsburgh. Speaking of the Pirates, Cole is actually their leading All-Decade starter, finishing ahead of his former Astros teammate Charlie Morton (a Scorpio) by just three games. VIR doesn't have another ranked FA until number 18, where Mike Moustakas puts his newly earned second base eligibility to use, as there are actually a couple of pretty decent third basemen ahead of him on the depth chart. Moose made the Virgo starting team at 3B 2 of the last 5 years, but was a regular feature at the hot corner with the Royals, with 885 all-decade games.

Will Harris, Cole's teammate and Astros playoff goat (not the same as the acronym G.O.A.T.), checks in next at 22. His first of three years making the Virgo bullpen (in which I keep track of up to 6 dedicated relief pitchers) was the same as Cole and Moustakas's, and he also leads Houston in all-decade appearances at 309. Ten spots later is center field-eligible Brett Gardner, who has the most fantasy astrology starting experience of Virgo free agents, with five seasons as a starter, although they came over a span of 10 years - the same span as my All-Decade project. Speaking of which, Gardy also has the most all-decade experience among VIR FA's, as he racked up 953 games in left field, plus another 422 in center, for the Yankees.

The most coveted position player on the free agent market should be world champion third baseman Anthony Rendon, a stalwart on the Gemini fantasy astrology team for 5 of the last 6 seasons. But who remembers that he actually broke into the league in 2013 as primarily a second baseman? Injuries and a position change across the diamond for franchise player (and Libra) Ryan Zimmerman cemented Rendon at the hot corner, where he has blossomed into one of the game's top players with the glove as well as the bat. But it's fascinating to imagine the prospect of him returning to his old defensive stomping ground to facilitate a signing with a team that already has an even better defensive third baseman. (Matt Chapman just won his second Platinum Glove in a row, I'm just sayin'...) The only other member of the astrology Twins on my list is sometime Cubs closer Steve Cishek, since I did the rankings by fantasy points rather than MLBTR rankings; which is also the reason why #4 ranked SP Zack Wheeler (1,635 points / 52.7 points-per-game) isn't up there, as he finished just behind Aries Jake Odorizzi in both categories.

The Cancer Crabs fantasy astrology team has been consistently pitching-poor since as far back as I've been able to measure (which is at this point the late 1990's), but for 7 of the past 8 years they've had a bona fide ace in Stephen Strasburg. I was frankly surprised that the Nationals' leading All-Decade starter (239 games) decided to opt out of the remaining $100 on his contract, given his low key nature and the unpredictable (almost collusively so) free agent market, but there's little doubt he'll beat his previous guarantee based on his absolutely incredible platform season. Teams will be wary of overpaying given his resume, but the adage that "past performance doesn't guarantee future results" cuts both ways with Stras, as it applies not only to his checkered injury history, but also to his World Series MVP-winning 2019 performance. The top relief pitcher on the market, lefty Will Smith, led the Cancer bullpen this year, and his role will be even more important given Blake Treinen's nosedive and Felipe Vazquez's criminal proclivities. Not listed is Strasburg's teammate and fellow playoff hero Howie Kendrick (he was ranked #30 with 1,398 points and 11.5 PPG), who I in all seriousness would like to see sign with the green and gold next year to replace Pisces Jurickson Profar at the keystone.

So far I've profiled signs from the Earth, Air, and Water elemental "divisions," and I'll close by looking at one player from each of the three Fire teams. NL ERA leader and first time All-Star Hyun-Jin Ryu led the Aries rotation after playing second (or more accurately sixth or seventh) fiddle behind Rams legends like Corey Kluber, Chris Sale, and Felix Hernandez since 2013. Speaking of second fiddle, Madison Bumgarner had been number 2 in the Leo rotation from 2013 thru 2016 (he led Lions starters in 2011 and '12, but settled in at number 4 in 2019, after a two-year gap), and each time he finished behind Max Scherzer. Although he's the DH in this lineup, Josh Donaldson is known almost as much for his glovework at third base as his potent bat, where he took over as the heir apparent of David Wright on the Sagittarius team - although he has twice been frozen out by other Archers such as Matt Carpenter and Justin Turner since he took the reins in 2013.

Valgod: a DnD Fan Fiction

art is from Swaggering Corsair by Scott Murphy

A half-elf and a minotaur walk into a tavern. This tavern is dark and dingy, as are most taverns in the port city of Dar Druev, but especially so on this part of the docks. And it's also filled mostly with out of work sailors... as are most taverns on the southern coast of the continent of Valgod. In fact, the dashing half-elf looks like he'd be more at home in a ship's rigging than on dry land, with a flowing mane of dark brown hair and a rapier at his side. The minotaur, on the other hand, cuts quite the figure of hired muscle, constantly throwing side-eyed glances at the patrons, never letting anyone get into a threatening position. For his part, the massive horned creature, with fur and skin so grey it looks almost blue in the right light, receives plenty of similar glances, as his undersized companion sidles up to the bar and orders two ales.

"Ah, now that's a foine ale you've got the-yeah," remarks a sturdy-looking high elf sitting on a nearby stool, in a heavy Earth-British accent. Next to him on the floor is a homemade sandwich board sign that reads Allen Goodfin's Knowledge Emporium! And underneath in smaller print, Where Learning is All In Good Fun... "Despite being known for its relatively cheap price, this particular batch is actually quite good quality, owing to its being made from a surplus of the finest wheat and barley from the southern valleys..."

As Allen Gootfin turns to the minotaur and goes on talking, the swashbuckler and his bodyguard give him a once-over. The elf is wearing polished scale mail, adorned with religious imagery, has a short sword and shield strapped to his side (both of Elven make, of course), but atop his head sits not a helm, but a tall pointed and brimmed hat best associated with Merlin, Gandalf, and other wizardly types. The two companions share a knowing glance.

"...the distillation process of grains from this district..." continues Allen, now addressing no one in particular.

"Thanks for the information, friend," the dashing rogue interrupts. "In fact, barkeep, kindly get one more ale for...mister Gootfin, is it? No, it's no trouble at all! My name is Sebastian Tweet, but my friends call me Seb. And this is my companion, Barrack."

"Of the Uda clan," pipes in the minotaur loudly, as he drains his ale in one shot. "Barkeep, another ale!"

"Why thank you very much, and pleased to make your aquaintances, Seb Tweet and Barrack Uda!" replies Allen gratefully. "And especially you, Mister Uda, as it's certainly rare to see a minotaur in these parts." Alan turns away from his new friends and addresses a random patron who has just approached the bar. "Originally from the land of Krynn, the minotaur are known as ferocious sea raiders, who rank as some of the most dangerous sailors in the world. But they are equally at home in the gladiatorial arenas of their homeland, which..."

"Excuse me, my friend," Sebastian breaks in once again. "But if you're truly in the knowledge trade, I might have some business for you." Seb reveals a ring that he has fastened on a chain around his neck. "You see, I came across this ring in my... travels, and I believe it holds great power. But I haven't been able to find out anything about it. Would you mind giving it a look?"

"Certainly, my lad," Alan eagerly begins inspecting the ring. "Hmm, it doesn't feel inherently magic. But I also sense that it could be used as a focus to channel great magical power. And... hang on a minute, what's THIS? It looks like there's a symbol carved onto the underside of the ring."

Elvish Rejuvenator by Winona Nelson

Allen holds the ring up for Seb and Barrack to see. "This symbol is associated with Desha, the Harmonist, one of the gods of the old pantheon of Valgod. These gods are now, of course, long forgotten, as they've all been missing since the destruction of the city of Old Stilgeras in The Tempest," Alan continues, this time turning to the barkeep, who has been doing his best to ignore these diatribes all day. "But the legend of Desha states that she was estranged and reclusive, and that she saw herself as the ultimate balancer. With full control over the forces of life and death, the dark deity held the greatest influence over the mortal world. She was a selfish and power-hungry figure, not at all like the patron deity of my clerical order, Ora Sen, the Skeptic, who champions thought and reason above all else..."

Sebastian only smiles and nods as Barrack continues pounding ales and Alan goes on pontificating long into the night.

===

As night falls over the harbor, three humanoids exit a tavern: a dashing half-elf, a gigantic minotaur, and a high elf carrying a homemade sandwich board under one arm.

"Well, Allen, it was a pleasure to meet you," says the half-elf, shaking Allen's free hand. "Thanks for the information about the ring, and good luck with your emporium business."

"You're very welcome, Sebastian," replies the full-elf. "And this knowledge DISPENSING business is only temporary. Once I drum up enough gold to pay for ship's fare, I'll be on my way in my quest to circumnavigate the continent of Valgod, so I can get back to more knowledge ACQUIRING..."

As Allen droned on, the minotaur perked up his ears and nudged Seb between the ribs.

"What is it, Barrack?" the rogue asks. As the minotaur points down the road, the three companions could make out the figure of an old man running towards them as he crested over the top of the hill. He was soaking wet, as if he just emerged from the sea, and he carried an ornate cylindrical container.

As the old man approaches, Barrack turns his six-foot, six-inch, 338 pound frame to block the path of the fugitive, who surprisingly continues running at full speed until he collapses into the arms of the minotaur. He thrusts the container into Barrack's hands and gasps, "Keep it safe!" before crumpling to the ground. At this point, the heads of five armed humans in pursuit also crest above the hill.

"Don't panic, old man, we'll help you out!" shouts Sebastian, frantically looking around, and then ushering the old man towards an unattended barrel on the side of the road. "Get in there and let me do the talking."

The man complies and crawls inside, as the water continues to drip off him and slowly fill the barrel. Sebastian plunks the lid on the barrel and sits on top of it as the five armed men reach him and slow to a halt.

"Nothing to see here, fellas," Sebastian calls out, doing his best to act casual.

"Hand over the old man, now!" shouts the clear leader of the group, wearing a finely crafted breastplate and armed with a distinctive bastard sword. He and the rest of his colleagues all wear green bandanas.

"Uh, I think he went that way," offers Sebastian, pointing down the street in the opposite direction. "If you keep running at top speed, you might just catch him."

"Are ye daft?" questions the leader. "I saw you stuff him in that barrel a minute ago! He's got something that belongs to us."

"Forgive me sir, but who is US?" asks Allen, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"You're telling me you don't know about the Glass Skulls?" laughed the leader, incredulously. "We OWN the streets of Dar'Druev, and anyone who gets in our way is gonna have to answer to the captain."

"Well, pardon me, but I'm not FROM Dar'Druev," answers Allen. "I make my home in Calphania, the High Elven city, far to the north. Our main exports are..."

"Shut up and give us that map!" yells the leader angrily, realizing that Barrack is still holding the old man's bundle.

Labyrinth Minotaur by Anson Maddocks

Barrack looks down at the bundle innocently, then back up to the leader. "Make me," the minotaur says.

The leader just chuckles and raises his sword. "Have at 'em, lads!"

Two of the thugs flank their leader and get ready with their spears, while the two in the back run up a nearby staircase and take sniping positions with their crossbows. The leader and the minotaur are already exchanging heavy blows, the former with his sword, the latter with his razor sharp horns, while the swashbuckler engages one of the lackeys in a dueling stance with his rapier.

Allen simply turns around and says, "As soon as I saw Barrack take that threatening stance in the middle of the road, I knew there was gonna be trouble. And I'm saying to myself, I just met these guys, I don't know what they're capable of, and I definitely don't want to get in over my head. But then there's this dripping wet fellow in the barrel, and I don't know WHAT to make of him..."

Meanwhile Sebastian runs his sword through his opponent's gut, just as Barrack is pierced by a crossbow bolt. This leaves him stunned enough that he couldn't dodge a tremendous hack from the leader's greatsword, briefly staggering the blue beast.

Allen's face suddenly turns grim with steely resolve. "But looking at the situation, I just didn't like the looks of these Glass Skull characters. So that's when I decided to let loose with a MAGIC MISS-eye-ull!" (The last syllables of which was of course the verbal component of the first level spell Magic Missile.)

In an awesome display of power, Alan whirls his hands in an arcane gesture, and sends FOUR magical bolts of energy at the leader, each shaped like a large library book. Each of the projectiles hit home, the last one tearing a hole in the warrior's throat.

Immediately the two snipers turn their attention to the magic user, allowing Barrack and Sebastian to double team the final spear lackey. However one crossbow bolt soars over Allen's head, while the other plinks harmlessly off his armor.

"Hey, you might hurt someone with that thing!" mocks Allen, looking derisively at the archer who came the closest. "I COMMAND you to DROP!"

Without a word, the archer lets their crossbow fall and drops to the ground. Their friend up on the ledge panics and runs, only to be met by the full fury of the Barrack's horns on the way down.

By the time the panicked archer had recovered their senses and reached for their bow, Sebastian had already deftly leapt up to the balcony and had his sword at their neck.

"Not so fast there," threatens the swashbuckler. "Why don’t you tell me what's so special about that map?"

"I-I-I don’t know," the archer replies, terrified. "Just sumthin the boss wanted, I swear!"

Sebastian looks them over and considers a bit. "Eh, I believe you," he concludes, running them through with his rapier. "Let’s find out what else that old wet dude knows."

But when Barrack opens the lid of the barrel, only water remains. The three adventurers look at each other, then at the map, then back down to the water.

"Anyone thirsty?" asks Sebastian with a coy smile.

Valgod: a Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition Adventure

All-Decade 2010-19 - World Series Edition

A couple months ago, I outlined the parameters of my "All-Decade Teams" project. At the time, I only had one full decade's worth of stats to work with (2000 thru 2009 - yes, I'm starting the decade at 00 and not 01, deal with it), but since then, with the conclusion of the 2019 regular season, I've been able to start creating a new database for decade #2. In honor of the World Series off-day, I'm going to take a brief look at the all-decade rosters of the two competing teams. Specifically, I'll be profiling just the players who are both all-decade leaders (according to games played) and currently on the roster. I'm starting with the Nationals, not because they're currently sitting on a 2-games-to-none series lead, but because the Washington franchise sported a better overall record than Houston over the course of the last decade: fourth overall, in fact, at 879-740, good for a .543 winning percentage.

Beginning with the starting rotation, both pitchers who have wins so far in the World Series are members of the Nationals' all-decade starting five. Former first overall draft pick Stephen Strasburg is not only the pitching staff's all-decade leader in games started, he also has the distinction of starting a game for the club in every year of the decade. Game 1 starter Max Scherzer technically slots in as the SP4 (remember, for this project I go strictly by games played), but in terms of pure talent and durability, he has unquestionably served as the team's All-Decade ace, AVERAGING just over 2,711 fantasy points per season since he signed with Washington prior to 2015. On the bullpen side, the current Nationals roster contains no top 5 all-decade relievers, a group headlined by Tyler Clippard (371 appearances) and Drew Storen (355).

While Ryan Zimmerman is technically behind Adam LaRoche by a handful of appearances at first base, it becomes clear why I gave him the starting nod when you look across the diamond (and past all-decade second baseman Danny Espinosa, who is not within the scope of this post). When you add in Zim's games at third base, he actually becomes the most prolific Nationals all-decade position player with 1,015 games total (he narrowly edges the recently departed Bryce Harper, who totaled 978 appearances between the three outfield spots). Another reason I included the second base tally in this excerpt was to remind everyone that Anthony Rendon, the clear all-decade leader at the hot corner, started his career primarily at the keystone, racking up a combined 928 games between the two infield positions. The only other all-decade starter on the WAS World Series roster is currently serving in a bench role: Michael A. Taylor amassed an agonizingly close 419 games in center field (beating Denard Span's 361), and hit a home run last night after coming in as a defensive replacement.

Hopping over to the Astros, the only two all-decade starting pitchers who were with the team in 2019 are not occupying those roles in the World Series, for various reasons. Collin McHugh (who also made 85 appearances out of the bullpen this decade) ended the year on the injured list, presumably for elbow issues that initially placed him there in May. Brad Peacock (add 94 relief appearances for him) has a game "started" on his resume during the postseason, but it was in an "opener" capacity in that pivotal Game 6 of the ALCS. I extended this excerpt to Houston's top 11 all-decade starters so we could see how Game 1 and 2 starters Gerrit Cole and Justin Verlander fall in the rankings. On the bullpen side, Will Harris leads all Astros pitchers with 309 all-decade appearances, while Chris Devenski, who made his first 2019 postseason appearance last night, sits in third place with 214 games.

It's kind of crazy that Houston finished this decade with a losing 789 and 831 record (.487) considering that their very impressive offensive core are predominantly all-decade starters. I guess that cluster of 100-loss tanking seasons didn't quite even out with the current streak of 100-win seasons. The overwhelming leader in games here is Jose Altuve, former AL MVP and reigning ALCS MVP. I heard somewhere that he's the only player to appear in every season since the Astros migrated from the NL to the AL, and I have no reason to doubt that (or to double check the numbers). Outfielder George Springer finishes second, when you consider his 258 appearances in center field - his multi-positional status is why his name appears in italics (see also Zimmerman, Rendon, McHugh, and Peacock... although I couldn't tell you why Lance McCullers is underlined up there). Next is Carlos Correa, who impressively put up almost 550 appearances, despite a lengthy injury history. During those injuries, Alex Bregman took over his customary shortstop spot, and adding his 129 games there would vault him past Jake Marisnick... until you add the 104 games that Marisnick played in the outfield corners. Yuli Gurriel would have some more games on his ledger if you consider his handful of times he appeared across the diamond at third, but even without those, he still finished comfortably ahead of Brett Wallace at first (remember him?).


There's a lot more to unpack in this database, which is still far from being finished. But until then, please continue to enjoy the World Series on your local FOX network, for at least the next two nights!

MLB One-Page Summaries - ALCS Edition

With the ALCS moments away from its pivotal Game 3 matchup, where one of the Astros or the Yankees will take a series lead in New York, let's look at those two teams' rosters, as I did with the NLCS teams last weekend. As a reminder, these one-page summaries were the very first baseball lists I ever put together, starting with stats from 2000. So with the completion of this year's version, I now have a whopping 20 years' worth of lineups, rotations, and bullpens in the books! But enough about me: here are the two teams vying to represent the American League in the 2019 World Series!

Houston finished 2019 with the best record in baseball, and their unquestioned top offensive performer was primary third baseman Alex Bregman. The Aries infielder could easily steal an AL MVP award from Mike Trout, due to his fully healthy season and defensive versatility - he took over at shortstop while Virgo Carlos Correa was on the injured list for a variety of maladies. Two other Astros put up Bregman-like production on a per-game basis, but didn't approach his full season fantasy point total: primary center fielder George Springer missed a month with a hamstring strain (although he was still Virgo's highest-scoring outfielder), while rookie designated hitter Yordan Alvarez didn't make his MLB debut until June (and he'll miss out on inclusion in the 2019 Cancer Crabs lineup due to the presence of ageless wonder Nelson Cruz at DH). Gemini corner infielder Yuli Gurriel benefitted greatly from MLB's homer-happy environment in 2019, finishing with 58% more HR's than his previous career high. Looking at the points-per-game column, it's clear that both Taurus second baseman Jose Altuve and Correa put up similar production, and would easily have cleared the 2,000-point threshold if not for injuries. In terms of player movement, the only qualified hitter (at least 200 PA) to leave Houston this season was underperforming first baseman Tyler White, who was shipped off to the Dodgers.

If 2019 Cy Young Award voters don't seriously consider splitting the honors between Houston's co-aces Justin Verlander and Gerrit Cole, then I'm not sure what the point of the award even is. Verlander just edges out disgraced Dodgers ace Clayton Kershaw as the longest-running current Pisces starting pitcher, while Cole's mastery was a big reason Virgo walked away with the Fantasy Astrology championship this year. The Astros picked up yet another ace to serve as their SP3 when they acquired Libra's top pitcher Zack Greinke from the Diamondbacks at the trade deadline. Curiously, Houston's projected fourth starter Wade Miley (who was also the SP4 of the Scorpio Scorpions) was left off the ALCS roster, leaving the team with an all-right-handed pitching mix. Aquarius relief pitcher Roberto Osuna has seemingly put his heinous domestic violence suspension behind him to once again post an elite season as a closer. In the rest of the bullpen, 13 was a lucky number, as three separate relievers averaged that many points per game. Remember that "P" is shorthand for a pitcher with at least five starts, but more games in relief than games started, and Jose Urquidy didn't make the list of primary starters because he didn't log the requisite 10 GS and 60.0 IP - although he did reach the 40 innings necessary for inclusion on the list in general.

The main story of the 2019 Yankees is how the team somehow managed to record more than 100 wins despite the majority of their roster spending significant time on the injured list. Two player who were not bitten by the injury bug were infielders DJ LeMahieu and Gleyber Torres, neither of whom are listed at their primary positions (as evidenced by the italics in the first column). New York signed the Cancer free agent LeMahieu as a utility infielder, and while he did fill that role, qualifying at first, second, and third bases, they probably didn't expect him to put up a career year while doing so. Torres spent the majority of his time in 2019 at shortstop (that "SS" should not be italicized over on the right, that was a mistake on my part), but the versatile Sagittarian moved to the keystone when Pisces Didi Gregorius returned from Tommy John surgery. Starters who didn't make NYY's playoff roster include DH Luke Voit (due to a prolonged slump) and left fielder Mike Tauchman (calf strain) - they were replaced by Edwin Encarnacion (who arrived in New York via trade) and Giancarlo Stanton (who played only 18 games in 2019 due primarily to a knee injury - and who's out once again with a balky quad).

Injuries also affected the Yankee pitching staff, as the ace from 2017-18 Luis Severino missed nearly the entire year with rotator cuff and lat issues. However, the Pisces hurler will be back to pitch this afternoon. In a shocking non-injury-related twist for this team, Leo Domingo German will not be eligible to participate in the playoffs due to a suspension for apparently slapping his girlfriend... in view of an MLB official at an event. Meanwhile, Scorpio Masahiro Tanaka (who's at the top of the list since it's arranged by innings pitched) has turned in a masterful postseason so far, while retiring veteran Cancer lefty CC Sabathia will work out of the bullpen for the last few outs of his career. New York''s bullpen has been a clear strength behind another Pisces Aroldis Chapman, but the two leaders in bullpen innings got there as either long relievers of "follow pitchers," i.e. those who enter in relief of an "opener," who in the Yankees' case was pretty much exclusively Chad Green. While we might see Green "open" game 4 (no starters have been announced as of this writing), it seems clear that Ottavino, Britton, and Kahnle will occupy the more traditional setup spots going forward.

MLB One-Page Summaries - NLCS Edition

I've only published one batch of excerpts from my mammoth spreadsheet tracking Fantasy Astrology Baseball lineups through the last two decades, but it's already time to move onto another type of baseball list. These one-page team summaries were my first attempt at tracking yearly baseball rosters vis-a-vis fantasy points, and although the layout and parameters have changed somewhat since the first time I did this exercise in the year 2000, the basic format remains the same. I finished putting the 2019 list together yesterday, just in time for the Nationals to go up on the Cardinals two games to nothing in the NLCS, so let's start by examining the rosters (i.e. lineup, rotation, and bullpen) of the National League's Wild Card winner.

This is a pretty easy one to start with, because the Nats had one of the more consistent starting lineups throughout the 2019 season. Beginning with the most relevant column - 2019 fantasy points - we see that MVP candidate Anthony Rendon and 20-year-old sophomore Juan Soto led the team offensively, so it makes sense that the Gemini and Scorpio (respectively) hit back-to-back home runs off longtime Dodgers (and Pisces) ace Clayton Kershaw to tie the decisive NL Division Series Game 5 on Thursday. Cancer Crabs shortstop Trea Turner also eclipsed the 2,000-point threshold, and if you look at his points-per-game column (in parentheses), you'll see that he produced at the same rate as Soto when healthy, but he missed time with a broken finger early in the season.

Now to explain some formatting quirks of the list. You might have already deduced that the positions listed to the left of the players' names are their primary positions, and the ones to the right (where applicable) are secondary positions, and you would be right... but ONLY when those secondary positions are in italics. The only example in this lineup is fellow CancerCrab and NLDS Game 5 hero Howie Kendrick, who qualified at both first and second base in 2019. However, when the italicized position is on the left, such as in the case of Virgo benchwarmer Matt Adams, that was NOT the player's primary position, indicating that I futzed with eligibility rules to fill a team's positional need. Indeed, National League teams don't have access to the DH (...yet!) but I list nine players in all 30 starting lineups so as to better compare overall point totals. You may have also deduced that players below the starting nine represent bench depth, but what's not so obvious is that the "^" symbol next to Taurus backup outfielder (and the Baby Shark himself) Gerardo Parra denotes that he was acquired midseason and spent time with another MLB team in 2019.

The 2019 Nationals have a starting rotation with one of the most impressive "Big Threes" in recent memory with Scherzer, Strasburg, and Corbin (a Leo and two Cancers, respectively). Despite his solid-not-great 2019 regular season production, manager Dave Martinez has made the argument to make that "Big Four" after Pisces Anibal Sanchez's stellar performance in Game 1 of the NLCS on Friday. In stark contrast to the starting staff, Washington's bullpen has been much maligned all year, and rightly so, with Libra closer Sean Doolittle and under-the-radar late-May waiver claim Javy Guerra the only relievers to average 10+ points per game. However, this list doesn't feature other more significant midseason acquisitions, such as new closer Daniel Hudson, tilted-cap-wearer Fernando Rodney, and former Mariners closers Roenis Elias and Hunter Strickland, because these four failed to rack up the requisite 40 innings and/or appearances necessary for inclusion on the list. Speaking of rules for inclusion, Austin Voth is down at the bottom, despite an impressive 2019 rookie season, because I require pitchers to rack up at least 10 games started and 60 innings pitched to make it into the list of non-italicized SP's (Voth had 8 GS and 43 2/3 IP). Also, the generic "P" next to Joe Ross's name is my shorthand for a "spot starter" type - a pitcher with more than 5 games started, but more relief appearances than starts (Ross started 9 games out of 27 total appearances).

At first glance, it's clear that St. Louis's offense doesn't feature the same scary performers as Washington's, as longtime Virgo first baseman Paul Goldschmidt needed a red-hot September to barely eclipse 2,000 points (he's AVERAGED 2,322 over the seven years prior to 2019). Scorpio Slugger Marcell Ozuna had a decent platform season heading into free agency, but you can see that he didn't log a full season by comparing his points/PPG columns (like Turner above, he too missed time with a broken finger). Leo shortstop Paul DeJong had a solid and healthy regular season, but he's recently been relegated to the 8th spot in the batting order in the postseason. Batting above him is rookie Taurus utility player Tommy Edman, who despite logging most of his brief MLB time in the infield so far, has gotten the lion's share of starts in right field, while veteran Aries Dexter Fowler moves to center, pushing Gemini defensive stalwart Harrison Bader to the bench (remember the NL does not get the benefit of a DH spot).

Beyond ace Jack Flaherty (who's a Libra), you can't toss a baseball into the Cardinals pitching staff without hitting a Virgo: not only were starters Adam Wainwright, Miles Mikolas, and Dakota Hudson all born between mid-August and mid-September, but the same is true of starter-turned-closer Carlos Martinez, and currently injured once-and-future closer Jordan Hicks. (His line appears in italics because, while he didn't reach the requisite innings/appearances totals, he accounted for over 20% of his team's save opportunities, earning him mention as a part-time closer.) This looks like a sound strategy for Cardinals management, since Virgo did win the fantasy astrology championship this year, after all. Beyond Martinez, Leo reliever Giovanny Gallegos has blossomed into a nice bullpen piece, making the trade of Luke Voit look much less one-sided - the Aquarius slugger isn't even on the Yankees' ALCS roster. Speaking of people left off rosters, John Gant didn't make St. Louis's, despite a solid regular season overall - although I guess he did post a 6.20 ERA in the second half. But with former postseason strikeout machine Andrew Miller and hard-throwing John Brebbia (both Gemini's) on the roster, I'd say STL's late-inning corps looks a bit more impressive than WAS's.

Astrology All-Decade Teams - First Excerpts

I'll be honest, last night's AL Wild Card Game very nearly sapped all possible interest I may have had in the rest of the baseball season. That A's loss, coupled with the newfound resistance the ownership group is facing in their quest to build a new stadium and keep the team in Oakland might dissolve my interest in the sport for the foreseeable future. But before I drift into the next round of the playoffs, where I'll uncharacteristically be hoping for the Astros to stomp their next opponent, I want to share the first excerpts from an Expansive List I've been working on that encompasses my entire baseball-watching history. This has to do not with the petty, corruptible accomplishments of real world MLB teams, but with a hypothetical fantasy realm, where rosters are constructed based on astrology.

Because when you think about it, dividing players by their astrological signs gives you a much clearer picture of their true level of talent, since there's no way for an astrology general manager to trade a player to a different sign. Of course, the whole concept of astrological signs in themselves is fairly arbitrary, but it's been established pseudoscience for centuries, and there's definitely less noise than having to take into account baseball's complex player development structure, the market factors that drive trades/acquisitions, and how personalities in both the front office or the dugout can affect any given player's standing with a particular team.

Anyway, since 20 years is a long time to think back on without any guidance, I'll start showing you bits and pieces of my list by outlining the most fantasy-relevant player of each team that participated in the Wild Card Games. (Wild Cards Game? Wilds Card Game?)

The first is Washington Nationals ace Max Scherzer, who has also led the Leo Lions for eight of the last nine years, and he'll no doubt return again this year. Keep in mind that the "SP1", "SP2", etc. in the position column are mostly arbitrary, and don't represent the sign's actual #1, #2, etc. ranked pitcher for any given year - they're arranged this way mostly with an eye towards maintaining continuity of the  same pitchers in the same columns for as many years as possible. But in Leo's case, a Bumgarner/Scherzer one/two punch would be pretty enviable to have for most of the decade.

I'm sticking with the National League here, because the losing team's top fantasy hitter has a career that goes back one year even longer than Scherzer, and stretches across two positions. Ryan Braun started his career for the Milwaukee Brewers in 2007 as a Rookie of the Year third baseman, but quickly shifted to the corner outfield, where he continued as a mainstay for the Scorpio Scorpions for eight of the next nine years (meaning he was in the starting lineup for nine out of ten years overall). Although he's now in the twilight of his career - and limited by injuries besides - Braun was still a big part of the Brew Crew's recent run of success.

For the ALWC winning Tampa Bay Rays, would you believe that outfielder Avisail Garcia is the top fantasy performer in Kevin Cash's bootleg lineup? And he only features prominently on the Gemini Twins because their squad has a historically thin outfield mix, and I stretched/completely ignored positional eligibility rules by pretending he's a regular center fielder (that's what the "*" means next to his name... plus most of the other outfielders in this screenshot). That's who the A's lost to: a team full of nobodies! That's who! ARGH why do I even let myself care about a sport that inspires me to feel such RAGE!?!?!

I'm convinced one of the main reasons why the Oakland Athletics lineup wasn't clicking down the stretch was the hip injury suffered by Khris Davis while making an ill-advised start in the outfield during an interleague game. This is yet another argument for the universal DH, a position to which Davis is confined, according to eligibility rules, and common sense, apparently. Fortunately, the Sagittarius Archers had a deep stable of outfielders to take over when "Khrush" was moved to his bat-only role, although he will surely miss the roster this year, after a down season.


Once I finish entering stats from 2019 into this database, I'll have a full 20 years' worth of Fantasy Astrology data to sort through. This includes yearly summaries of each sign's total output, allowing me to track the fortunes of these teams over two decades. It's a lot of tedious data-entry work, but it'll be more interesting than watching what's left of baseball in 2019...

Los Angeles Dodgers - All-Decade 2000-09

Given how dominant the Dodgers have been over the last several years, it's hard to believe that LA's one true team was toiling in mediocrity for much of the previous decade. Sure, they did win three division titles in the span of 2000-09 (plus one additional Wild Card appearance), and eighth out of 30 isn't exactly horrible, but it still must have been embarrassing for the storied franchise to finish behind its market share competitors who play in the county to the southeast. Let's check out an all-decade roster that was mired in turnover, organized by games per position (for the most part), with years active with the team displayed to the right.

Of all the position players, basically only third baseman Adrian Beltre got through the decade unchallenged at his position, and he didn't have an exemplary offensive season until 2004, his last with the Dodgers, where he won a Silver Slugger and finished second in MVP voting. Right fielder Shawn Green actually led the team in overall games when you consider his appearances at first base, but Andre Ethier also had a big chunk of time at that position (369 games), despite the fact that he shows up in left field. Looking at only games behind the plate, it looks like current Dodger Russell Martin has a clear handle on the position, but when you add in the games that Paul Lo Duca spent at first base, it becomes a dead heat (548 to 537). Speaking of time at other positions, Alex Cora only gets the not at second base over Jeff Kent (597 games) because the current Red Sox manager split his time pretty evenly between both middle infield spots. Speaking of the middle infield, while Cesar Izturis has a significant lead over Rafael Furcal (483 games) at shortstop, it's far from commanding. At first base, James Loney BARELY squeaks ahead of Eric Karros (414 games), which is alright because Karros was the starter for eight out of ten years in the previous decade. Again, considering only center field appearances, Matt Kemp is closely followed by current Dodgers manager Dave Roberts (239 games), but considering that Kemp started his career in right field, he's the clear choice for the position. Jumping back to left field, Gary Sheffield actually narrowly led the team in games at that position with 280, which is EXACTLY the same number of games he played for the Braves in right field - he also racked up 267 for the Yankees, and 225 for Detroit.

The turnover continued in the rotation, where Derek Lowe was the leader in games started with just 135, or just 10 starts more than the Twins' number FIVE all-decade starter. LA grabbed Odalis Perez from the Braves before he fully established himself, and while he only made one All-Star appearance while with the club, that's on par with most of this all-decade rotation: Chad Billingsley also only had one (in the last year of the decade) while Brad Penny and Kevin Brown had just two apiece (including a top-five finish in Cy Young voting for each). Eric Gagne actually logged 45 starts for the Dodgers over the two years before he became a lights-out closer, a career that included three straight All-Star appearances and a Cy Young Award in 2003, on the strength of just 82.1 relief innings and a league leading 55 saves. But the all-decade leader in games pitched was the hulking Jonathan Broxton, who graduated from setup man to closer in the last year of the decade (where he made one of his two career All-Star appearances). The 6'4" 285 lb. Broxton took over the ninth inning from Japanese import Takashi Saito, whose 180 games with LA fell just short of qualifying for a well-balanced bullpen that includes five 200+ game pitchers.

Minnesota Twins - All-Decade 2000-09

I've never pretended I didn't have a bias on this blog, so I'm going to narrow the scope of these all-decade previews now that I'm past my favorite team, the A's - who finished an unfortunate 6th in winning percentage in the 2000's (the decade, not the millennium), so I can't even go under the pretense of lightening up after the top five. The Twins had a nice run in the middle of the decade in question, winning the AL Central division four out of five years from 2002-06, then again in 2009, although they only have one playoff series win to show for all their division titles. Here's how their aggregate roster looked during the decade, organized by games played per position, with years active with the team to the right.

Over his thousand-plus games with the Twins in this decade, Torii Hunter earned a reputation as one of the best fielding outfielders in the game, with seven straight Gold Gloves from 2001-07 (plus two All-Star appearances in that span). Slugging Canadian first baseman Justin Morneau took home an AL MVP award in 2006, kicking off a run of four straight All-Star nods (only three of which take place during the decade in question), before concussion troubles started to take their toll. Jacque Jones split his Twins tenure about 60/40 between left field and right field, and he put up the sort of unspectacular consistency (he never made an All-Star team or got any awards consideration) that helps fill out a lineup. Shortstop Cristian Guzman (note the lack of "h" in his first name) led the major leagues in triples in three of his five seasons in Minnesota. The versatile Michael Cuddyer played all over the diamond during his Twins tenure, the majority of which came in right field and third base, but since Corey Koskie (another Canadian) is entrenched at the hot corner, it makes sense place Cuddy in the outfield. Despite just barely cracking 600 games in the decade, Joe Mauer is the only position player on this all-decade team to show up among the Twins' all-time leaders in wins above replacement (he places fourth), as he continued with the team into the next decade, even though he moved from catcher to 1B/DH. During his first six seasons, he won three batting titles, made three All-Star teams, won three Silver Sluggers and two Gold Gloves, in addition to being named the 2009 AL MVP (when he also won the coveted Triple Crown).

Clocking in at ninth all-time in WAR for Twins players, Brad Radke's career straddled this decade and the previous one, and while he may have pitched better in the earlier of those (his lone All-Star appearance, finishing 3rd in AL Cy Young voting in 1997) he definitely played for more winnings teams in the later one. Despite starting his career often pitching out of the bullpen, Johan Santana places 18th in all-time Twins WAR, thanks to a tenure that included TWO Cy Young awards (2004 and 2006), two top-10 finishes in MVP voting, a Gold Glove award, and a run of three straight All-Star appearances in the three years prior to being traded to the Mets. Kyle Lohse averaged a 4.72 ERA in his five full seasons with the Twins, embodying the role of innings-eater before a disastrous 2006 saw him demoted to the bullpen. Speaking of the bullpen, consistency in that area was a big reason for Minnesota's success in this decade, and no one was more consistent than Joe Nathan, who never saved fewer than 36 games in a season with the Twins in this decade (which included four All-Star appearances and two top-5 finishes in Cy Young voting). While Nathan leads the charge with more than 400 games, it's crazy that four additional relievers totaled 300 or more relief in the decade, with only J.C. Romero benefitting from lefty-specialist bonus... which itself is somewhat offset by the fact that he was primarily a starter (if an ineffective one) during his first two years with the team).

Oakland Athletics - All-Decade 2000-09

The Oakland Athletics from the 2000's (the decade, not the millennium) were famous for achieving success thanks to general manager Billy Beane's shrewd reimagining of player evaluation and exploiting market inefficiencies, as chronicled in the book (and the film) Moneyball. However, the A's of that time period are better remembered by us fans for their failure to get out of the first round of the playoffs - the club lost in the ALDS four years in a row to start this decade (three times as AL West champions, once as the wild card team behind the historic 2001 Mariners). Here's how the A's's all-decade roster looked, arranged by games per position (for the most part), with years active with the team displayed to the right.

Third baseman Eric Chavez is one of those rare birds who played the same position for the same team in every year of the decade in question - there are only 13 such players in this entire project - and his longevity helped him finish his career in 20th place finish on the team's all-time Wins Above Replacement leaderboard (with the majority of the players in front of him plying their trade in the 1920's and 30's). Chavvy's blend of a potent lefty power bat (he averaged 22 home runs per season in the decade, even factoring in his largely lost 2008-09 seasons) and tremendous left side defense (he won six Gold Gloves in a row from 2001-06) resulted in him receiving the largest contract in team history: six years and $66 million, a mark which will surely be shattered if/when the A's approach an extension with their current superstar third baseman, but that's a problem for the next all-decade team. Next up in total games played for the club is second baseman Mark Ellis, who might have approached the 1,000 game plateau had he not missed all of 2004 due to a shoulder injury. The A's of this decade split shortstop fairly evenly between Miguel Tejada and Bobby Crosby (who put up nearly 600 games at the position), but it's no question which of the two has the more electric, even though his accomplishments (including a 2002 AL MVP award) are potentially tainted due to steroid allegations. Sticking with the infield, and with divided positions, catcher Ramon Hernandez is the clear leader in games behind the plate, but it's worth mentioning that former Pirates star Jason Kendall (368 games) finished a close second. Despite his middling performance in his four seasons with the A's, Scott Hatteberg perhaps best embodies the Moneyball philosophy of making the most of unexpected assets - in this case, turning an oft-injured backup catcher into a decent hitting first baseman.

As with the AL West rival Angels, I had to do some positional manipulation to make sure the most representative players were included in this all-decade lineup (as evidenced by the large discrepancies between games at a particular position and overall games played), but luckily this was limited to the outfield/DH mix. The one bit of stability on the grass was Mark Kotsay, who became the face of Moneyball Phase II, when cheap on-base percentage was replaced by cheap speed-and-defense. Next on the depth chart for games played strictly at center field is Terrence Long, with a little under 350, but if you combine those with his 137 in left and 102 in right, the Rookie of the Year runner-up in the year 2000 was actually the A's most frequently-appearing all-decade outfielder. The player who had the most games in RF alone is power hitting righty Jermaine Dye, who came over to the A's in a mid-2001 deal with the Royals, but only totaled 385 games with the team. Left field belongs to Eric Byrnes, who is known more for his high energy, borderline reckless play than for his ability to take consistently good routes to fly balls in the outfield. Similar to the right field situation, going by games played at designated hitter alone would give the spot to Erubiel Durazo (292), one of Beane's most sought-after acquisition targets. But when you add up all of Jack Cust's appearances across DH, LF, and RF, the three-true-outcomes specialist is the clear best candidate for the nod here.

While not nearly as formidable as Maddux/Glavine/Smoltz, the A's had their own vaunted "Big Three" in the early part of this decade - and what's more, they were all three drafted and developed by the Oakland organization. Lefty Barry Zito had the longest tenure with the team, as he was the only one who was not traded before he hit free agency. Known for his big curveball and his prowess with the guitar, Zito lands 24th on the all-time list of Athletics players by WAR, a tenure that included three All-Star nods and the 2003 AL Cy Young award. Sinkerballer Tim Hudson landed two spots ahead of Zito on the A's all-time WAR leaderboard, despite 60 fewer starts, as the Georgia native would go on to pitch the latter half of the decade with his hometown Braves. Big lefty Mark Mulder had the shortest overall career of the three, possibly stemming from overuse in his mid-20's: after his last two seasons with the A's, in which he led the league with nine and five complete games, he only managed one full season after that following a trade to the Cardinals. Another homegrown A's pitcher, Joe Blanton, logged some decent innings for the club, although his highest profile work came for the Phillies during the 2008 World Series following a midseason trade. Rounding out the rotation is Dan Haren, Billy Beane's main return in the above-mentioned Mark Mulder trade, although it's worth mentioning that a pitcher with a remarkably similar last name - Rich Harden - missed a spot by just about 10 starts.

The Athletics' ability to develop strong pitchers in this decade extended to the bullpen, as Huston Street held down the ninth inning for the majority of the decade, lending some stability to the position after a string of quality one-off seasons from Billy Koch, Keith Foulke, and Octavio Dotel (who was technically a 1.5-off). The Texan with the wide-stepping windup ended up being traded to the Rockies for Matt Holliday, who hated his half-year in green and gold so much that he infamously negotiated a one-team no-trade clause when he signed with the Yankees, ensuring that he would never end up in Oakland again. The overall leader in pitching appearances over the decade (by a four-game margin), Chad Bradford was such an extreme submarine pitcher that it wasn't uncommon to see his knuckles scrape the mound as he delivered a pitch. It's inspiring that Jim Mecir was able to have the career he did, given that he was born with two club feet, but perhaps the birth defect allowed him to increase the spin on his screwball. It's always nice to have a left hander among your top relievers, and Ricardo Rincon exemplified the role of lefty specialist over his career (157 innings in 223 games with the A's). Justin Duchscherer deserves a spot in this bullpen based on relief appearances alone, but his importance to the team only increases when you add in the 25 times he took the mound as the starter.

Atlanta Braves - All-Decade 2000-09

For all the fanfare surrounding the 1990's Braves, with their Maddux/Glavine/Smoltz trio, the Braves in the 2000's (the decade, not the millennium) won a lot of games too. All three of those pitchers returned (although with one in a different role than he had been accustomed to), and that consistency on the mound added to some star level offensive performers led to six NL East titles (in the first six years of the decade). Here's what Atlanta's roster looked like from 2000-09, organized by amount of games played by position (for the most part), with years active with the team to the right.

Supposedly the phrase "Keeping Up with the Joneses" originated with a comic strip created by Pop Momand in the early 20th century, but if you told me it had to do with the pair of perennial All-Stars who played for the Braves around the turn of the 21st century, I would not be surprised. Hall of Fame third baseman Chipper Jones, who checks in at 6th on the list of all time Braves players by Wins Above Replacement, leads the team in overall games played across multiple positions. Although the former first overall draft pick (from 1990) made only three All-Star teams during the decade in question (which started the year after he won his lone MVP award), he averaged a .960 OPS (47% better than league average), and was even willing to move from his customary position when it suited the team's needs. Curacao native Andruw Jones finished his career four spots below Chipper on the all-time Braves WAR leaderboard, but he picked up significantly more hardware while he was with the team. On top of five All-Star appearances, the defensively gifted Andruw won a Gold Glove award in all eight seasons he played in Atlanta during this decade (plus two more to finish off the previous one). While I'm trying to steer clear of astrology in this feature, I think it's worth noting that, in addition to sharing a last name, Chipper and Andruw also share an astrological sign, as they both play for the Taurus Bulls.

Continuing down the list of total games played, speedster Rafael Furcal won the Rookie of the Year award in 2000, and then held down the shortstop position for the next six years, before leaving for the Dodgers in free agency. Like Furcal, his double play partner Marcus Giles (brother of Brian) also came up with Atlanta, also stands at 5'8", also made exactly one All-Star team in the decade in question, and also left via free agency after six years, although Giles played only one non-Braves season in his career. Jeff Francoeur has a reputation as one of baseball's preeminent "good guys," and he's also perhaps the most deserving of the nickname "Frenchy." The all-decade catcher position was pretty evenly split between Brian McCann, who is currently back with the Braves after stops with the Yankees and Houston, and Javy Lopez, who had 482 games this time around after also serving as last decade's starter. First baseman Adam LaRoche is another homegrown talent who was again acquired via trade in the last year of this decade. Left field is where things fall apart for this team: after Chipper Jones's 347 games there, no one put up even 200 appearances at the position. If we listed Chipper as the starter in LF, Vinny Castilla would take over the hot corner, based on his 286 games between 02 and 03, but that's hardly representative of how the Braves actually looked. It's also worth noting that Gary Sheffield had 280 games in right field in the same two years that Castilla spent with the team, but this isn't fantasy baseball, where the two corner outfield spots are interchangeable.

On the pitching side, we all know about the greatness of Hall of Famers John Smoltz, Greg Maddux, and Tom Glavine, who finish 7th, 8th, and 9th, respectively, among all-time Braves WAR leaders. Maddux, also known as The Professor, had one of the greatest changeups of his time and was an above average fielder for a pitcher - he won three Gold Gloves in the four years he spent with the Braves this decade, before returning to his original team, the Cubs, in free agency. Unlike Mad Dog, Glavine, was a homegrown Braves product, whose last three of 16 consecutive seasons in Atlanta came in this decade in question, but the soft-tossing lefty also returned for a farewell tour in 2008 after spending five years with the NL East rival Mets. In another astrology aside, I find it fascinating that longtime rotation mates Maddux and Glavine were also both stalwarts in the Aries Rams pitching staff. I'll talk about Smoltz in the next section, because his career followed a different path than the above two career-starting pitchers. Tim Hudson was the first of the vaunted A's "Big Three" to depart Oakland when the Columbus, GA native was traded to his hometown team in the winter of 2004 (Mark Mulder was sent out two days later in a trade with the Cardinals). Huddy spent three more years in Atlanta than he did with his original team, since the Braves know how to hold on to a good pitcher when they get the chance. Kevin Millwood narrowly wins the battle for the fifth starter spot, with Mike Hampton (85 games started) and Horacio Ramirez (84) nipping at his heels.

After 12 seasons with the Braves in the 80's and 90's, exclusively as a starting pitcher (including a Cy Young award in 1996), John Smoltz missed the entire 2000 season because of Tommy John surgery. He came back in May of 2001, and pitched poorly enough over his first five starts (5.76 ERA) that the team shifted him to the bullpen, whereupon he racked up a 1.59 ERA and 10 saves. He remained in the closer's role for the next three seasons, averaging a 2.47 ERA and 48 saves per season, before returning to the rotation in 2005 and continuing his run of excellence (despite an injury-shortened 2008). The only pitcher to total more relief appearances than Smoltz in this decade was lefty Mike Remlinger, who despite his handedness was not used as a specialist until his second stint with the club in 2006, averaging more than an inning per appearance from 1999-2002. The same cannot be said of Kevin Gryboski, who was utilized as a rarely seen righty specialist (167 innings in 221 games). While Blaine Boyer technically spent parts of five seasons with the team, he totaled five appearances or less in three of those. Chris Reitsma was part of the first post-Smoltz closer committee in 2005 (along with Danny Kolb), Ibut he lost that job (and later his place on the team) in 2006 after putting up an 8.68 ERA the following year.