30 Teams in 30 Days 2018 26 Cincinnati Reds

Do you remember the episode of hit CBS show Undercover Boss from 2011 featuring the Mayor of Cincinnati? The one where the well-spoken and charismatic Mark Mallory meets a delightful parking attendant, and a disgruntled mechanic at the municipal vehicle repair shop, among others? It may surprise you to learn that not only was I behind the camera for his casting interview that was sent to the network for approval, but I was also part of the team that found and interviewed those two city employees! While I was there, I attended a Reds game at Great American Ballpark, where I had some skyline chili, enjoyed the view of the Ohio River, and added another mini-bat to my collection. Here's the 2018 Cincinnati Reds:

All-Acquired Factor

For a team like the Reds, which is seemingly in a perpetual state of rebuilding, making splashy offseason acquisitions is pretty far from the top of their priority list. While there is not a single acquired member of the projected lineup or rotation, Cincinnati did make some additions to the bullpen and the bench: middle relievers Jared Hughes and David Hernandez were each signed to two-year free agent deals (although the latter of which hasn't played yet in 2018 due to shoulder inflammation), and Kevin Quackenbush made the team out of Spring Training after inking a minor league deal, although he was cut from the roster two days ago. Also joining the team on minor league deals are utility infielders Cliff Pennington (ranked a whopping 762 by MLB.com prior to the season) and Phil Gosselin. For all the criticism the Angels got for not putting a winning team around Mike Trout, what about the Reds and Joey Votto?

Fifth Starter

FIFTH starter!? More like, starters two-through-five, inclusive, am I right? First of all, Anthony DeSclafani hasn't pitched since 2016, and is expected to be out until June with an oblique strain. Brandon Finnegan actually made it back from his biceps strain in the middle of the month, although he has struggled to an 11+ ERA in his first two starts (already half his output from last year). The other two spots in the rotation have gone to top-100 prospect Tyler Mahle (ranked 372) and Sal Romano (whose rank increased to 509 following DeSclafani's injury). In addition, former top-100 prospect Cody Reed has made one start, to go along with three relief appearances, but he was sent down to the minors last Saturday.

Fantasy Astrology Relevance

Professional hitter Joey Votto and speedster Billy Hamilton were ticketed for starting roles for the Virgo "Maidens" before the season, but both have struggled out of the gates, while it's been fellow Virgo Adam Duvall who's leading the team with three (3) home runs, despite an average under the Mendoza line. Before his thumb injury, Eugenio Suarez was filling in for the injured Nelson Cruz at Cancer's DH spot, and could take a starting role next year if Manny Machado loses his third base eligibility. Raisel Iglesias is Capricorn's top reliever, as his stay on the Paternity List was short-lived, because of societal gender roles. And Luis Castillo should hold down a rotation spot for the non-contending Sagittarius "Archers."

Manager

After four years and 18 games at the helm, Reds ownership decided it had seen enough of Bryan Price, despite the fact that the club's shortcomings were hardly his fault. But a 3-15 start must have consequences, so the manager (and pitching coach Mack Jenkins) were the scapegoats in this particular instance. We'll see if installing Jim Riggleman as interim skipper leads to a reversal of fortunes in Cincinnati, but my guess is that whoever is leading this ship, it is bound for the NL Central cellar.

Song

Cincinnati, Ohio - Connie Smith

I'll admit that a Cincinnati-based song didn't come ready to mind, so this was another Google-assisted choice. But the smooth country tones of Connie Smith and Bill Anderson's lyrics about a longing for the Queen City nicely evoke a feeling for a team that plays its games on the border of Ohio and Kentucky. Also it's just a bonus that this song was released just three years before the Reds made four World Series appearances over a seven-year span. Honorable mention goes to "The Cincinnati Song" from the 1986 TV movie Babes in Toyland starring Keanu Reeves and Drew Barrymore.... but not really.