30 Teams in 30 Days 2018 08 St. Louis Cardinals

The Cardinals did not make the postseason last year, but if I had to pick one non-qualifier with the highest chance to change that, for me, it's St. Louis. They've made some shrewd acquisitions, even after the season technically started, and they can always count on a good performance from even the most ragtag of their homegrown stars. It's the Cardinals Way.

All-Acquired Factor

The Cardinals did not land the top prize of this winter's trade market, NL MVP Giancarlo Stanton, but it wasn't for lack of trying. Miami's front office reportedly had deals in place with both St. Louis and San Francisco, depending on which one for which Stanton would waive his no-trade clause. Turns out it was neither, as the slugger known as "Cruz" spurned both National League suitors and successfully held out for the Yankees. But the Cardinals' consolation prize in the Marlins Fire Sale Extravaganza was not bad either, as Marcell Ozuna has developed into a star power hitter in his own right, just the middle of the order type bat the Redbirds were lacking.

The only other new acquisition shown in the SI baseball preview is injured former projected closer Luke Gregerson, but that was hardly the only other move GM John Mozeliak made to improve the team. But since all the other pitchers will be covered in future sections, here's a look at the bench: infielder Yairo Munoz (apparently pronounced with a hard J) made the team after being acquired from Oakland as part of the return for outfielder Stephen Piscotty, and veteran catcher Francisco Pena was named backup to legendary Yadier Molina after being invited to Spring Training camp on a minor league deal.

Fifth Starter

We've reached the point in the season where some of the players who began the year on the disabled list will be trickling back to active roster status, such as Adam Wainwright, who made his first start of the season three days ago. Youngster Jack Flaherty made one start in place of Waino, who had been out of action with a hamstring strain, but someone else was signed to be the team's fifth starter: the magnificently mustachioed Miles Mikolas. I've learned from watching the replay of his improbable home run in just his second at-bat back in MLB since returning from a three-year stint in Japan, that Mikolas should be pronounced MIKE-oh-liss, rather than what I had in my head: mick-OH-las.

Bullpen

Two factors caused the fantasy rankings of three St. Louis middle relief types increase between Spring Training and Opening Day. Two of these were newly-acquired righties - Dominic Leone, acquired from the Blue Jays, jumped to 265, while Bud Norris, signed late of the Angels, climbed to a more modest 571. Holdover left-hander Tyler Lyons split the difference at 376. The first factor was "signed to be our closer" Luke Gregerson's oblique injury, but the second was a reversal of the earlier announcement in favor of adopting a "closer by committee" approach. However, both earlier stances were later nullified by the signing of Greg Holland, ranked a stable 196, who endured a rough stay on the free agent market after declining both a mutual option AND a qualifying offer from the Rockies next year. Once he gets into game shape, he's all but guaranteed to be locking down saves in St. Louis.

Fantasy Astrology Relevance

Not as much as you would expect, actually. Carlos Martinez will be in the rotation for Virgo, Dexter Fowler will occupy a spot in the Aries outfield, and Cancer will feature a battery of Yadier Molina and Michael Wacha every fifth day. But most of their top talent won't play for astrology contenders: Ozuna will join his former real life teammate in an always-hopeful Scorpio outfield, Tommy Pham will line up in center field for Pisces for as long as his degenerative eye condition allows him to do so, and Matt Carpenter could eventually play first base for Sagittarius when Wil Myers regains his outfield eligibility, but that's about it. Barring a surprise breakout or some other Patented Cardinals Malarky (see below).

Song

Meet Me in St. Louis - from Meet Me in St. Louis

I only know the name of this song because I've vaguely heard of the 1944 movie of the same name starring Judy Garland. Upon further research, the song dates back 40 years before the film and was written to celebrate the 1904 World's Fair. What's kind of amazing about that is the St. Louis Cardinals were actually around in 1904: they finished fifth out of eight teams in the National League, their best players were pitchers Jack Taylor and Kid Nichols, both of whom won at least 20 games while pitching 352 and 317 innings, respectively, and utilityman Dave Brain led the team with seven (7) home runs.

Colossus

As I've mentioned before, this year was the first time I read Grant Brisbee's baseball preview at SBNation, wherein I was introduced to the term Patented Cardinals Malarky. This term struck a chord with me, as I immediately thought of it as a perfect way to describe something like, say, a pitcher hitting a home run in just his second at-bat after a three year stint in Japan. Then I immediately spotted a similarity between that kind of nonsense  and the various tricks you can use to defeat Colussus #3. Anyone who's seen the crazy jump from Gaius's sword directly to his head (a move I still haven't been able to pull off) will agree it doesn't get more "malarky" than that...