30 Teams in 30 Days 2018 07 Boston Red Sox

Remember when the Red Sox won 93 games and their division last year, but then everyone was still super concerned about their offense, so they went out and signed the winter's top free agent hitter? What? You do? Because that signing happened just over a month ago? Wow, this offseason was weird...

All-Acquired Factor

J.D. Martinez to Boston -  a match made in seemingly every baseball analyst, commentator, and pundit's offseason previews. Credit Red Sox top brass  for sticking to the script and Martinez's agent Scott Boras for getting his client paid, even with seemingly no other suitors for his services. Do I think he deserved the five years, $110 million guarantee, and numerous opt-out clauses (and injury provisions)? Probably not, and I'm not of the mind that players should earn at an elite level just because they happen to be the best available players in any given free agent market. That's one of the reasons why I like Fantasy Astrology baseball, because it's free of such arbitrary earthly concerns such as each particular MLB team's financial situations. Every astrology lineup is based on the incontrovertible positions of the planets and the stars at the exact time of each player's birth, which is itself based on whenever that player's parents decided to... oh, wait, I guess astrology is just as arbitrary and earthly as anything else...

Fantasy Astrology Relevance

Speaking of astrology, as long as J.D. Martinez maintains his outfield eligibility, he'll give Leo another star outfielder to line up next to Mike Trout. Longtime Red Sox stalwart Dustin Pedroia would join those two were it not for a knee injury that should keep him out until the end of May (see below). Astrology's best team draws a couple of its top offensive contributors from Boston's roster, as right fielder Mookie Betts and shortstop Xander Bogaerts both represent Libra. Starting pitcher David Price's return from his 2017 injury troubles will be key for Virgo to take a shot at the title. I already linked to a video featuring (a video game version of) Aries Chris Sale in the Indians preview two days ago. And despite Craig Kimbrel's status as the game's top relief pitcher, the Gemini "Twins" are going to need a lot more than a few saves to be a major player in the fantasy astrology standings.

Injuries

Speaking of Gemini, super utility player Eduardo Nunez (who was re-signed from last year, so he technically doesn't qualify for All-Acquired consideration) will take over for Pedroia at the keystone while the former is out, along with fellow GEM super utility type Brock Holt. Boston's pitching depth has also taken a hit early in the year: in addition to Drew Pomeranz, who you can see on the chart above, fellow lefty Eduardo Rodriguez (forearm) and knuckleballer Steven Wright (knee) started the season on the 10 day disabled list. These developments leave former Mexican League standout Hector Velazquez and thus-far-unfulfilled prospect Brian Johnson will pick up the slack... at least for the first turn through the rotation. Oh, also, reliever Tyler Thornburg is still injured, as he has been since that Sox gave up a couple of good players to acquire him from the Brewers two offseasons ago.

Song

More Than a Feeling - Boston

I toyed with featuring "Tessie" by the Dropkick Murphys in this spot, the theme song for the best baseball video game of all time, but I wanted to steer clear of songs that are about the actual team in question rather than that team's home city. And while the lyrics of "More Than a Feeling" don't actually reference the city of Boston, one could argue that the entire oeuvre of a band named after the city is a reference to the city. Plus it is the ultimate song, according to Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Colossus

I was in college when the Red Sox broke the Curse of the Bambino in 2004, and let me tell you, the level of exhilaration I felt watching Keith Foulke lock down the save in the last game of the World Series, while sitting in the dorm lounge with a bunch of Boston fans, was akin to jumping up and grabbing the wings of a giant bird as it swooped down to attack you, and hanging on for dear life as it soared up into the sky. And that's exactly what happens when you fight Avion, Colossus #5. I could also say that his super tall perch in his lakeside lair is reminiscent of the super tall left field wall at Fenway Park, but that might be taking the analogy a bit too far.