"It's just 'Badger,'" replies the ship's captain. The middle-aged human stands a fair bit shorter than his half-elf swashbuckler companion, and a bit more wobbly, due to the rather sizable quantity of rum he'd already consumed on their young journey. But it's clear he was a formidable seafarer in his heyday. "And we're glad to have ye and yer friends on the Rosebush. I think the crew is enjoying having some new blood aboard."
Indeed, Seb's two companions seem to be getting along swimmingly with the other sailors. Allen Gootfin stands at the wheel, eagerly taking notes as the ship's navigator Aiden, another high elf, explains the basics of nautical equipment. Meanwhile, Barak Ooda spars with the first mate Jenk, and quite a crowd of deckhands had gathered around to see the burly minotaur go toe-to-toe with the agile lizardfolk. They were having a competition, with the loser of each bout required to drink a swig of rum, although Barak had taken to drinking after each win as well.
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| L to R: Jenk trains with Barak, Sebastian to with Badger, Allen learns from Aiden |
"And we appreciate your... discretion," replies Sebastian, gratefully. "Although I assure you, our affairs are strictly above board and completely--"
But he is interrupted by a shrill whistle coming from the crow's nest above.
"Ship off the port stern!" cries Philip, the young deckhand, from his spot keeping watch. "She's still afar off, but gaining fast!"
"Perhaps I can help get a closer look," offers Allen, running up to the gunwale. He snaps his fingers, and his familiar, a celestial raven, pops into existence. "Good to see you again, Tim! We have need of your far-seeing eyes once again." The bird cocks its head, lets out an agreeable squawk, and takes to the skies.
In a flourish of magic, Allen's eyes go blank, as he begins to see through his familiar's eyes. (They make a big deal out of this in Game of Thrones, where it's known as "warg-ing," but it's just a first level spell, people, it's nothing too special.) As Tim the bird got closer, Allen could just begin make out the designs on the sails of the approaching ship, when a magic missile comes hurtling toward his field of vision, followed by a loud pop.
"Shiver me Tim-bird!" shouts Allen, as his senses return to himself. "I do believe they have a magic-user on board. I couldn't see much, but the sails were definitely a deep shade of green. And the magic missile that hit my familiar was in the shape of a skull."
"The Glass Skulls!?" groans Badger, taking a deep pull from his rum bottle. "What does Finnerup want with us now?"
"Did you say Glass Skulls?" asks Allen, his ears perking up in recognition. "You mean the same gang that ambushed us back by the docks, when we found that map--?"
"Allen must be mistaken," interrupts Sebastian, giving his companion a subtle 'cut it out' hand-across-the-neck gesture. "I've certainly never heard of the Glass Skulls before. But come Badger, let's go into your cabin, we'll have a drink, and you can tell us all about them."
Sebastian jerks his head at Barack to follow him. The minotaur grabs the bottle of rum from Jenk and stomps towards the door leading belowdecks, none of the crew daring to stand in his way. "Private meeting with the captain," he bellows, ushering his companions inside. As he closes the door behind him, he turns to speak: "And prepare to be boarded!"
===
"I should'a known Finnerup would catch up to us sooner or later," moans Badger. He drains the dregs from his bottle of rum, only to find another one at his elbow, gently nudged forward by Sebastian. Badger uncorks it and takes another long drink. "That miserable scallywag has always had it in for me."
"Don't despair, captain, we'll find a way out of this," offers Sebastian. "My friends and I are great problem-solvers. But you need to tell us as much as possible about this Finnerup character, so we know what we're up against."
Badger considers for a moment, then takes another drink. "I wasn't always in charge of a merchant ship. Back in the day, I was a fearsome pirate captain! And Finnerup was my first mate. Until he poisoned the minds of my crew, and took control himself!"
"So you're saying that you've been the victim of a mutiny before? Very interesting..." Sebastian throws a sidelong glance at Barak, who is drinking from his own bottle of rum, although the liquor has noticeably little effect on the minotaur. Meanwhile, Allen is taking detailed notes of Badger's story in his journal.
"I was forced out of the pirating life in disgrace," continues Badger. "Lucky to escape with my life, I was. But I was able to rebuild and start over, trading goods for hire. Meanwhile, Finnerup joined the ranks of the Glass Skulls and ascended to their leader. Until now, he had been content with my humiliation, but it looks like that's all changed!" Badger breaks down sobbing, his head sinking down onto his desk.
"There, there, Badger," consoles Sebastian, gently lifting up the captain's head and coaxing the bottle of rum towards him. "You just need some more liquid courage and everything will be just fine."
"What are you doing?" whispers Allen. "If he drinks much more, he'll be in no shape to face a ship full of pirates!"
"Don't worry," winks Sebastian. "THIS Badger is not going anywhere near any pirates..."
===
"Badger! I know you're in there! Come on out, I burn yer ship into the sea!"
The ship in question, the Rosebush, was anchored alongside a much larger and more heavily-armed vessel. The two ships were attached with grappling hooks on either side, and a boarding bridge in the center. Standing menacingly on this corvus was Finnerup the Fool, speaker of the above threat. The captain of the Glass Skulls has a physique somewhere between scrawny and wiry, a bald head under a green bandana, and shifty, darting eyes.
Standing on the deck behind Finnerup, his massive first mate in full plate mail was locking eyes (or rather where their eyes might presumably be, behind the closed visor of their helmet) with Badger's first mate Jenk, who was stoically defending his ship. Meanwhile, the Rosebush's navigator Aiden was sizing up his counterpart on the other ship, a buxom Dwarven woman who smelled faintly of lavender, and whose fingers sparkled as though she was ready to fire off another skull-shaped magic missile at a moment's notice.
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| Finnerup and the Glass Skulls |
All of a sudden, the door to the captain's cabin bursts open, and Badger stumbles out, clutching a nearly empty bottle of rum. "Alright Finnerup," the gray-haired captain slurs. "I know when I'm beat. I get the MESSAGE!" Jenk hurries back to help his captain from falling, but the lizardfolk pauses at a dismissive hand-wave from Badger, who takes a moment to steady himself. "So what'll it be? Ya want our shipment of fine silks bound for Fairport? Or is it RUM yer after?" Badger drains his bottle, tosses it over the railing, then pulls another one from his satchel.
"Don't be coy with me, old salt," sneers Finnerup. "We'd been watchin' ye closely in Dar'Druev. We know ye picked up three passengers: a two elves and a minotaur. Or an elf, a man, and a minotaur."
"I believe the word you're searching for is half-elf?" offers Finnerup's navigator.
"Whatever they be," shouts Finnerup, "they stole sumthin' from me, and I aim to get it back!"
"Ya got me, Finnerup," admits Badger. "They were on board this ship. And the good-lookin fellow was in fact a half-elf," confirms Badger, throwing a lusty wink to the female dwarf at the helm, who blows a kiss in return. "But now, only one of 'em's left. Care to take a look?" The old former pirate takes a step back and gestures clumsily into his cabin.
Finnerup looks warily around, then nods to his first mate to follow him as he hops lightly onto the enemy ship. The armored figure takes hold of a giant halberd and clomps after their captain, with Jenk forced to step aside to avoid being trampled.
As Finnerup cautiously peers inside Badger's cabin, he catches sight of a large steel cage, inside of which sits the bound form of Barak Ooda!
"Well blow me down!" utters Finnerup. "How did you bilge rats manage to subdue a minotaur? That horn-head and his mates killed five of my best fighters!"
"Got the drop on 'em, we did," explains Badger. "They came to us seeking passage, so we made 'em feel safe, then we set on 'em during the night. Kept the minotaur alive to sell to the fighting pits."
"Seems I underestimated you, bucko," muses Finnerup, moving uncomfortably close to Badger. "But I don't care a wooden dubloon about no minotaur. I want the map."
"Oh, I've got the map," says Badger, producing the ornate tube from behind Barak's cage. "And you're welcome to have it..." Finnerup smiles as Badger leans in close, but his face changes to a look of surprise when the voice that speaks the next phrase doesn't sound like his old drunken captain, but rather like a charismatic half-elf adventurer. "...when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers."
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| Art from "Deadeye Brawler" by Jesper Ejsing |
At the same moment, Barak lets out a rage-fueled roar and charges straight through the bars of his illusory cage towards Finnerup's first mate, who has taken up a fighting stance. The armored brute meets the full fury of the minotaur and goes sliding backwards, but the two appear evenly matched. Without missing a beat, Jenk leaps into the fray, unleashing a flurry of blows on the pirate's lower body, throwing off their center of gravity. Barak uses the opportunity to hook his horns under his enemy's arms and heave them over the side.
Seeing this situation unfold, the dwarven navigator leaps down onto the deck and begins to cast a spell as she rushes towards the boarding bridge. But as soon as she steps on the gangplank, it begins to rise up, seemingly of its own accord. She loses her balance and follows her companions into the sea, just as the formerly invisible form of Allen Gootfin reappears, straining with all his might to shove the bridge off the side of their ship.
"Weigh anchor and hoist the mizzium!" calls out Allen, as a bolt of fire flies from his outstretched hand and ignites the green sails of Finnerup's ship.
"It's actually MIZZEN, but I get the point!" shouts Aiden in reply. He grabs hold of the ship's wheel, shouting orders to the crew, as Barak finishes unhooking the final grappling hooks.
As the Rosebush beats a hasty retreat, a cloud of magical fog billows out around the form of Badger, who drops the illusion and morphs back into Sebastian Tweet. He laughs at the sight of Finnerup's crew, trying desperately to douse their flaming sails while fishing their captain out of the water.
"Who's the bilge rats now!?"
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