Dominaria Fan Fiction 01 Sealed Deck Battle

"To start today's lesson," began Marius the Benalish Marshal, "here is a quote from the history of Benalia:

“Some aspire to climb the mountain of Honor. The Benalish are born upon its peak, and from there ascend among the stars.”

"Yeah, sounds to me like the athlete who was born on third base, and spent their whole life thinking they hit a triple," scoffed Betty, a footsoldier.

"You got that right," echoed, the Sergeant at Arms. He continues:

Knights get the glory. Soldiers get things done.

"Then perhaps Betty would like to demonstrate the next maneuver," snapped Marius, tossing a Jousting Lance in her direction, and nodding his head towards the artifact creature at the other end of the practice field. It looked like a medieval crash test dummy come to life, and it wandered around haphazardly, only dimly aware of its surroundings, waiting for something else to smack it across the face or torso area.

Betty took a deep breath as she stepped into the arena, leveled her weapon, and let out a war cry as she tilted toward her foe: "For New Benalia!" She braced for impact as her lance was about to hit home...

But just then, the construct vanished. Expecting to be pushed back, and now wildly off balance, Betty stumbled forward and landed flat on her face. The rest of the platoon gasped, and then looked around, bewildered. The shock quickly wore off - the Benalish army was well familiar with the methods of the wizards of Tolaria West, who could make things vanish in the blink of an eye - but the marshal stroked his chin suspiciously, convinced that there was something deeper going on...

===

Suddenly, a Sparring Construct appears in the middle of a swamp. After a moment of appearing stunned at its new surroundings, its attention perked up, and it appeared to be moving with a renewed sense of purpose, as though being controlled by a higher will. Then a blunt arrow twanged into its shield, and the animated object twirled around comically.

The arrow came from a bow held by a woman in leather armor, who appeared to be moving with the same will as the construct... "Sorry buddy," remarked the D'Avenant Trapper, "but it couldn't hurt to get a little training in." Suddenly she felt a rush of wind, as the wings of a humanoid bird, also in leather armor, swept down and displaced the air.

"Excuse me," the said Aven Sentry, bowing low, “My flock flew from a distant continent ruined by cataclysm and war, and we were hoping that Benalia could give us shelter to end our... OW!”

The bird creature was struck by an arrow, this one tipped with a small magical device that exploded upon impact, leaving them stunned and temporarily helpless.

The archer winked at the artifact by her side, and pulled out a different arrow, this one sharp and made to deal damage. She turned her attention to a different unseen force, this one behind the struggling form of the bird soldier, and let fly. The sparring construct waded in after her and swung at the same force with its blunt sword.

"What... That... I really don't think that was necessary," muttered the Aven, as they righted themselves. "I was merely trying to establish a... oh, hello there fellow!" The bird was now addressing another construct that had wandered in from the plains, this one voltaic in nature. "Perhaps you might be more amenable to discussing my plight. You see, my flock flew..."

The archer just rolled her eyes and let fly with another arrow, as she whispered an old D'avenant verse:

“Go swiftly, clever arrow, and teach The philosophy of stillness.”

The bird was again indisposed, and the team ran back into the fray, only this time the sparring construct jumped back into a defensive position much quicker.

"I really don't understand this aggression!" the Aven sputtered. "I'm trying to get to New Benalia. I thought they could help... hold on, what's that?"

As the sun began to set behind a nearby chapel, the light became filtered through an ornate stained glass window. As the multicolored prism fell on the winged sentry, its feathers began to smoke and sizzle. Before the Aven could even let out a squawk-like shriek, the Blessed Light had burned it clear to ashes.

"I guess darkness isn't the only thing the mage-smiths who made that window wanted to cast out of Benalia," remarked the D'Avenant Trapper, as she once again made to attack. But suddenly, standing in her way was another Aven Sentry, wearing slightly different armor than the first.

"Hail and well met, travelers," the bird creature began. "My flock flew from a distant continent, ruined by cataclysm and war. Do you think the continent of Benalia would... oh hello there!" This soldier was addressing a mechanical owl that had just flown in. "Perhaps you would like to hear of my plight. You see, my flock flew from a distant..."

The archer just shook her head as she and her ever-increasing number of mechanical friends jumped in to attack. But this time, they met some resistance in the form of green plant-like creatures, which the trapper knew as Saprolings. But when the archer returned to her side of the battlefield, she was joined by two scrawny looking Clerics.

"Ugh, where are we, Huey?" mumbles one of them, looking quite disoriented. He sounds just like one of the guild henchmen from Venture Bros.

"Isn't it obvious, Dewey?" the other one proclaimed. "The magic that brought us here, signaled the start of the dreaded... Rite of Belzenlok?!" Lightning strikes here why not, as the two of them start chanting:

“The Demonlord has ruled every age. Every ruin, myth, and nightmare proves his power.”

===

Across the plains, the bird soldier is just standing up from prone when there's a rustling in the bushes behind him. Suddenly, the Benalish Marshal from earlier jumps out of the nearby forest, holding a gleaming metal device.

"Hail and well met, bird." called out the knight. "My name is Marshal Marius Soot-Cliff; or Marshal Soot-Cliff for short. (Channel Fireball attorneys make eye contact with me and shake their heads no.) "OK just Marshal is fine. This Navigator's Compass shows that the aether trail of one of my training artifacts leads this way, and... oh, there he is!"

Looking far across the battlefield, the familiar sparring dummy seems to recognize its former master. It waves in acknowledgment.

"It's a good thing you're here," muttered the aven. "I just saw two token Cabal clerics show up. And they've been using some type of magic to, ARGH WHY DOES THAT KEEP HAPPENING!"

Now moving back across the battlelfield, as the D'Avenant Trapper dusts off her bow, something catches her eye. As she reaches for it, she recoils, as it's quite freezing to the touch. She fiddles with the device, and next to the aven, the marshal lets out a yelp, then goes completely stiff as a board. A similarly stiff breeze comes and tips him over.

"I could get used to this Icy Manipulator," the trapper coos, as she notches another arrow. From behind her, two more Clerics are flung into the fray.

"Hey Louie, check it out!" one of the new arrivals shouts. "There's the other two! Hey guys! It's me, Gooey!" This one should be female and sounds like Dr. Girflriend (or rather Lady Au Pair).

"Oh, goody, we're all here!" calls Louie, "Should we do the rest of the verse?"

"It doesn't matter," chides Huey, their leader. "We don't have to say it for the spell to take effect. We don't all even have to be here!"

"Oh come on!" whines Dewey. "I wanna do the verse."

"Fine, whatever!" Huey and the rest all start chanting:

“My heart is not mine, it is Belzenlok’s. All hearts are his, and all blood.”

===

Betty the token Benalish soldier crests a far off hill as more lightning strikes in the distance. She's helped up the hill by one other soldier. Her arm looks injured, as well as her pride.

"Woah, careful up there!" calls out Sarge, following behind. "Looks like some pretty serious Black magic! You might want to hang back..."

"Are you kidding?" grins Betty, grimly. As she got within range of the marshal, her aches and pains seemed to vanish, and she brandished her spear. "I want to see the fireworks."

In a minute, she's not disappointed. The Saga that the clerics were chanting having been completed, a blast of mana explodes from the swamp, and an imposing Demon rises up into the air. It cackles maniacally. The trapper takes cover behind the two unfazed artifact creatures, but the eyes of the clerics widen with pure malicious joy. They chant gleefully:

“All hail the Demonlord Belzenlok, Evincar of the Stronghold, Scion of Darkness, Doom of Fools, Lord of the Wastes, Master of the Ebon Hand, Eternal …”

Dewey pauses and interrupts the ritual. "Hold on... wait, wait, wait... This is not Belzenlok?"

"Yeah, that does not look anything like the pictures in the ancient texts," muses Louie, looking through his book.

The demon redoubles its cackling, sounding slightly more nervous than before, trying not to notice the chatter below.

"Excuse me," cries Dewey, "but this was the rite of BELZENLOK, so we were sort of hoping that the actual Demonlord Belzenlok would appear, it looks like you're just a token..."

"SILENCE!" Bellows the demon! "I'm a perfectly fine, powerful demon! Look at my fiery hair! Look at my moody wings!" It sounds like Griffin McElroy, using the voice modulator from THE ADVENTURE ZONE podcast intro. "I even have flying and trample, just like the real thing."

"Psshh! Yeah, OK, FLAMPLE" guffaws Gooey, "but where's our free spells? And why would you deal damage to...?"

"Wha... FLAMPLE!? How DARE you..." the token screams. "I demand a SACRIFICE!"

The clerics all jump up and down giddily, except Gooey, who just gives a skeptical look. "Ooh ooh me me!" the first three shout. "We beg for the knife. Death is just another mark of devotion!"

"This is some dark sh**T" remarks the sergeant.

"You're tellin mEEHP--" replies the marshal, muffled as he's constantly hit with the Icy Manipulator. The Voltaic Servant crackles, and Manips also gets the bird soldier, who has just broken down weeping at this point. It's a real engine working over there.

Meanwhile, the demon token is unimpressed by the clerical invocation. Instead, its eye falls upon the sparring dummy. A flourish of magic erupts from deep within its being, and the robot explodes into spare parts. The demon swoops down and picks up part of its dull broken sword, which bursts into dark flame, then jams into the red zone, hitting for seven, thanks to that extra counter.

"BEHOLD THE POWER OF THE GLORIOUS DEMONLORD!" shouts Huey. "Take me next! Me next!"

"Uhhhh, that's not the demonlord," warns Gooey. "And did you guys see what happened to that robot? I know it's not even sentient, but that looked... painful..."

Just then the trees in the woods started to shake. The massive attack had apparently unearthed something from deep within the heart of the forest. Not just a giant, but a MAMMOTH spider emerges, tall enough to reach high into the sky.

The faces of the White Benalish forces brighten up for just one moment at the appearance of a large green defender against the massive threat in the skies... but then a tendril of magic shoots up and Eviscerates the arachnid on the spot.

The demon continues cackling. "You know what? I'm taking DEWEY next!"

"YES! THE ANTICIPATION!" blurts Huey. "It's almost as delicious as actually being devoured by the dark magic!"

"Do you hear yourselves!?" yells Gooey, alarmed. "I don't think I'm up for this Cabal stuff anymore..."

A burst of dark magic swallows up a cleric, and the demon swings once more unto the breach, this time over the head of an Elf Knight wearing a badass eyepatch; one eye open to see the truth of the world, one eye covered to gaze at the goddess within. But depth perception wasn't a problem for the Steel Leaf Champion, since he was strapped into the saddle of a giant green scaly creature with dozens of sharp pointy teeth. But none of that mattered, as Elf and Beast alike were promptly tapped down with the artifact formerly known as the bone crank.

The marshal cast a helpless glance at the Elf, looking more and more dismayed. "Call..." he struggled, between blasts of the icy manipulator, "Karn..." he finished, before everything went black.

===

What will happen in Game 2 of this epic Match? Find out next time... Back by popular demand only.