Batman Power Hour Companion: Act 4

If you followed along with the previous three posts in this series, you should be half way through this Power Hour and roughly 2.5 beers in. I hope you're enjoying the experience and that you're ready for more of my insightful commentary!

Clip 31: Dreams in Darkness
Air: 31 (November 3, 1992)
DVD: 128

This image (you can barely see Batman there on the far right) is at the exact
midpoint of the power hour, and was almost the thumbnail pic on YouTube.

Series creator Bruce Timm made a conscious choice not to retell the story of how young Bruce Wayne's parents were gunned down before his helpless eyes, but luckily he didn't have any objections to showing the scene in dream sequences, coma fantasies, or drug-induced hallucinations. "Dreams in Darkness" features one of the show's most interesting storytelling tropes as we hear Batman narrate the plot from the confines of his cell in Arkham Asylum, in which he's been locked after receiving yet another dose of Scarecrow's fear toxin. Given that he's in such a state, it's only natural that his mind would revisit the most traumatic event of his life, complete with remarkably emotional and evocative imagery. A fitting backstory-related clip to mark the halfway point!


Clip 32: I Am the Night
Air: 34 (November 9, 1992)
DVD: 149

Staying with the parents death theme, this clip shows Batman performing his annual ritual of returning to Crime Alley to commemorate what happened on that fateful night all those years ago. Joining him on the scene is Dr. Leslie Thompkins, an old colleague of Bruce's parents and a sort of surrogate mother figure, in the same way that Alfred/Commissioner Gordon play the dual role of father figures. (It's revealed later in this episode that Jim Gordon is the same age Thomas Wayne would have been if he hadn't met an untimely end.) This is one of the more cerebral episodes of Batman: in addition to the two Santayana quotes, Batman also utters a line from Nietzsche ("When you look too long into the abyss, the abyss looks back through you") during a moment of personal crisis. It's not often that you get such philosophical depth in a children's cartoon show, and it's one of the reasons why it will always stand as not only one of the most compelling shows to grace the small screen, but also one of the most thought-provoking.


Clip 33 and 34: The Demon's Quest, Part 1
Air: 57 (May 3, 1993)
DVD: 160

The next two clips return us to the Ra's/Talia al Ghul storyline that ended the last act. A couple things to point out right away that contradict the character's most recent cinematic portrayal: he's not the one who trains Bruce Wayne in his quest to become the Bat, he doesn't make any attempt to hide his true identity behind a red herring decoy figurehead, and he doesn't pronounce his name like a girl character on Frasier ("roz"), but rather a much more masculine "raysh" (like "race" with an "sh" on the end). I don't know how it would be pronounced in the original Arabic (it does in fact mean "The Demon's Head"), and not to keep harping on our good friend Chris Nolan, but I definitely prefer the animated version. Also, as much as I admire Liam Neeson, I must say that the vocal majesty of David Warner is unparalleled in terms of capturing the life of the 600-year-old criminal mastermind. Although, who knows what Neeson might have been able to do if he didn't have to spend half the movie pretending to be a different character...

In the first clip, Ra's introduces himself and the problem: both his daughter Talia and Batman's sidekick Robin have been abducted. Between the clips, most of the action happens: hero and villain join forces and embark on a mission to rescue their loved ones, before it's revealed that Ra's had masterminded the whole thing as a test to see if Batman was ready to lead his forces to a new age. When Batman refuses, Ra's goes into conniptions and dies, requiring his resurrection by way of the mysterious Lazarus Pit. Let me just say, and I promise this is the last negative point I'll make about Nolan's trilogy, but to have a story about Ra's al Ghul without the Lazarus Pit is like having a story about Batman without the Batcave. While there is a sequel to this episode, we won't see clips from it until much later in the hour.


Clips 35 and 36: Robin's Reckoning, Part 1
Air: 51 (February 7, 1993)
DVD: 132

While Bruce Timm put a pin in showing the story of Bruce Wayne's death, he put no such restrictions on the death of Dick Grayson's parents. The demise of the Flying Graysons is one of the most emotionally powerful sequences in the show, so much so that this episode won the Emmy for Most Outstanding Half Hour or Less Program. There's something about that single frayed trapeze wire swinging into frame that just evokes a much greater sense of loss than if we'd actually seen them splat on the circus floor. The second clip shows how Bruce and Dick begin to bond through shared tragedy, and more importantly we see how the orphaned Bruce becomes somewhat of an adoptive father to his soon-to-be sidekick. This of course undercuts some of the more perverse sexual undertones between the two that critics and subversives are quick to bring up... despite an overly-playful fencing scene that takes place in Part 2.


Clip 37: Robin's Reckoning, Part 2
Air: 53 (February 14, 1993)
DVD: 133

The backstory here, if it's not obvious, is that Robin has tracked down the crook who caused the death of his parents (played by the incomparable Thomas F. Wilson, aka Biff Tannen) and is ready to return the favor. I feel bad about having to cut this clip before the full extent of Batman and Robin's dialogue where the Caped Crusader convinces the Boy Wonder not to take matters into his own hands, but I only had a minute and had to use the first part of it to adequately showcase Robin's signature bulletproof motorcycle, another sequence that made it into the opening title when the show became The Adventures of Batman and Robin.


Clip 38: Heart of Steel, Part 2
Air: 41 (November 18, 1992)
DVD: 140

Knowing the plot of this two-part episode isn't really important for what I needed this clip to accomplish; it's enough to know that it involves incredibly life-like robots called "Duplicants" (not to be confused with Blade Runner's "Replicants," even though M. Emmet Walsh plays an important part in both). And that Commissioner Gordon's daughter Barbara, who turns out to be a very capable adventurer even before donning the Batgirl costume (SPOILER ALERT), is instrumental in both uncovering the villain/CPU's master plan and in orchestrating its ultimate destruction. Also note that the censors couldn't say anything about the sexy blonde Duplicant getting brutally crushed by an elevator, since she's not technically a human after all...


Clip 39: Shadow of the Bat, Part 1
Air: 61 (September 13, 1993)
DVD: 157

Staying with the Barbara Gordon theme, this clip represents the first time the adventurous coed dons what would eventually become the Batgirl costume, only this time she puts on the cape and cowl in an effort to impersonate Batman to make it seem like he showed up to endorse a rally in support of her father. It's one of those long, drawn-out, complex political storylines that you can afford to let breathe over the space of a two-parter, but for our purposes, it's enough to show how the Dynamic Duo's newest partner burst onto the scene - and that what appears to be a fashion choice of letting her auburn hair flow out the back of her cowl was actually a result of her first interaction with the Boy Wonder... at least in this universe.


Clip 40: Shadow of the Bat, Part 2
Air: 62 (September 14, 1993)
DVD: 158

It strikes me that of the three Bat-allies that appear in this show, only Batgirl makes the conscious choice to become a crime fighter, i.e. she is the only one that wasn't thrust into the life with some childhood crime-related trauma. Her father is still alive and well (if in constant danger) and although her mother is never depicted (maybe she picked up and moved to Ohio like she did in TDKR - maybe the town of Springdale where witness protection placed our friend Charlie in "Joker's Favor"), there's nothing in the show to suggest that she met with a violent end. Either way, Batgirl is by far the least committed to the costumed hero lifestyle, as she only appears in three total episodes. In this clip, she performs her first competent heroic act (using some gadgets borrowed from Batman and Robin and stolen from police headquarters) by rescuing her father, who somehow doesn't recognize her, despite the close quarters lines of dialogue they share. Although with all the commotion in the background and the bullets flying, I can imagine it's very hard to distinguish voices...

Batman Power Hour Companion: Act 3

Continuing the Official Companion to my Batman: The Animated Series video power hour, here's commentary on Act 3 (of 6):

Clip 21: Night of the Ninja
Air: 28 (October 26, 1992)
DVD: 135

I sent us on a flashback to young Bruce Wayne's pre-Batman training in Japan to start this act, as I like each act to begin with something personal about our hero rather than just jumping into the action. Although there is plenty of action when Bruce faces another student in his dojo, Kyodai Ken, a villain who (I believe) was created for the series rather than being drawn from the comics. Their matchup reveals that Wayne wasn't always at the top of his game in terms of fighting style and that he could consistently be defeated by this cocky, bald student with a gnarly Asian soul patch. I wonder what would happen if they were ever to meet up again...


Clip 22: Day of the Samurai
Air: 55 (February 23, 1993)
DVD: 144

There's a lot of backstory that isn't described going into this clip, but even without knowing all the details, it still makes for an extremely well-executed hand-to-hand combat scene. First of all, Kyodai knows the Dark Knight's secret identity because he has fought both Bruce Wayne and Batman, and fighting styles are like fingerprints: no two are alike. Hence the lack of ceremony when our hero casually removes his mask. This knowledge allowed him to target Alfred in order to lure Wayne/Batman to this dangerously epic (epicly dangerous?) fighting ground next to an active volcano. Secondly, Kyodai has acquired knowledge of the ancient forbidden fighting style "kiba no hoko" (the way of the fang), which includes a deadly "killing touch" making him that much more dangerous of an adversary. To see who ends up winning the fight, you'll have to get your hands on Volume 2 of the DVD collection.


Clips 23 and 24: The Strange Secret of Bruce Wayne
Air: 29 (October 29, 1992)
DVD: 137

Staying with the theme of villains who know Batman's secret identity, the next two clips are from Professor Hugo Strange's only appearance in the series. Although Strange predates the Joker in the comic book context, the diminutive, demonic psychotherapist has been largely left out of the modern Bat-lexicon until he got a starring role in 2011's Batman: Arkham City. In the first clip, we see how Strange gains this critical piece of information: through the use of a high-tech mind-reading device that he operates under the guise of providing hypnotic relaxation therapy to the rich and famous. In a flourish of iconic imagery (which puts a similar sequence associated with the Riddler in Batman Forever to shame), Bruce Wayne unwittingly reveals his darkest secret to someone who's well-suited to use it against him. Between the clips, Batman thwarts Strange's plan, but it's not so easy dealing with the fact that a dangerous evil genius now knows his biggest secret. For that, he has to engage in some cloak and dagger tactics involving his sidekick wearing a mask straight out of Mission: Impossible. Whenever I watch this scenario play out, I always wonder: wouldn't it have been easier for Dick Grayson to disguise himself as Batman, who already wears a mask, and to have the real Bruce Wayne just play himself? Maybe it's just the case that between Batman and Bruce Wayne, the Dark Knight is actually the more recognizable figure in Gotham City...


Clips 25 and 26: If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Rich?
Air: 41 (November 18, 1992)
DVD: 140

This episode marks the Riddler's origin story, and the first clip shows the first time we see the villain in full costume - a gorgeous fully painted, rather than drawn, cell that also serves as the first act out in the actual episode. I've always thought the Riddler's episodes are some of the most entertaining, because his challenges require Batman to apply his intellect to clever puzzles while still maintaining an element of action. Also, Robin appears in each episode with the Riddler, which makes for some good back and forth as the Dynamic Duo work out the brain teasers. Plus, John Glover's conservative yet very effective version of the Riddler is yet another example of how this show puts Batman Forever to shame.

Another reason I'm partial to this particular episode is because of its focus on video games: the maze that Batman and Robin are navigating in the second clip is modeled after the Edward Nygma-created "Riddle of the Minotaur" game that Dick Grayson plays earlier in the episode (complete with sound effects stolen directly from Super Mario Bros.). This episode also introduces Batman's palm-top computer, a device that's far advanced beyond even the technology of our time, let alone the retro-1940s universe in which the show is set. But in a world where villains have remote-controlled flying hands, our heroes need technological weapons advanced enough to combat them.

Clips 27 and 28: Read My Lips
Air: 59 (May 10, 1993)
DVD: 164

The Ventriloquist has one of the screwiest gimmicks (serious psychiatric disorders?) in all of Batman's rogue's gallery, as reflected by our hero's reaction upon seeing the dummy Scarface for the first time. Fans of the original Law & Order will recognize the voice(s) of George Dzundza - who played Sergeant Max Greevey on the show's first season - as both personalities of the villain. In a bit of a cheat, you also hear Dzundza's voice when Batman uses his own ventriloquism ability to trick his foe in their climactic confrontation in the second clip. This same voice-over cheat was also employed in "The Strange Secret of Bruce Wayne" when Dick Grayson disguises himself (and his voice) as Bruce Wayne to trick Hugo Strange. I understand that there probably isn't another way to make these scenes work, but they always kind of bump me whenever I hear them.

What's not included in this power hour, since it happens after a lengthy fight sequence following the second clip, is the untimely and brutal death of the Scarface puppet at the hands of about 500 rogue bullets from a henchman's tommy gun. Series creator Bruce Timm said that they always destroyed the dummy in the most gruesome ways possible because it's technically just an intricately carved piece of wood, and the censors weren't able to stop them. True to form, in the other two episodes in which the Ventriloquist appears, his trademark prop is ground up by a wood chipper and decapitated by Scarecrow's scythe.


Clip 29: Bane
Air: 71 (September 10, 1994)
DVD: 210

The first episode in this power hour from the show's second season (which inexplicably had less than 1/3 the amount of episodes as Season 1), is also the show's first and only appearance of the episode's title character. Although Bane is one of Batman's most formidable physical opponents, he does not have a great deal of depth: he's basically a huge chemically-enhanced muscle-bound guy who shouts "I WILL BREAK YOU!!!1" This is why I never understood Christopher Nolan's decision to make him such a cerebral character in The Dark Knight Rises. I understand that Bane is supposed to be a smart guy, but in his traditional appearances he uses his intellect to study fighting styles and strategy, not develop intricate terrorist plots. Because the thing about villains with intricate plans is that they have to menacingly explain their inner workings to the heroes, and having a character with a giant mask covering his mouth try to explain anything makes for some very frustrating movie watching.

Anyway, in this clip (which required some internal cuts to remove the awkward and pointless storyline of shirtless Robin swim-fighting with Rupert Thorne's "secretary" Candace) Batman, on the verge of utter defeat, bests Bane in the only logical way possible: he disables the supply of Venom linked to his adversary's brain, with amazingly effective and dramatic results. This is the main reason why a character like Bane frankly doesn't deserve multiple episodes: he has one very clear weakness, and once it's been exploited, there are very few ways to make another interesting story out of him. It's still a great clip and a very good episode, but let's just say that after the credits rolled I wasn't eager for more Bane.

Clip 30: Off Balance
Air: 44 (November 23, 1992)
DVD: 150

Staying with the theme of characters that appear in Christopher Nolan's third and most recent Batman movie, this clip shows Batman's first interaction with Talia. That's right, Talia. She introduces herself directly, there's no mistaken identity red herring, and they begin their relationship by working together in a heroic setting - which kindles the most meaningful romance in Batman's career. Most importantly though, notice that Batman meets Talia before he meets her father, Ra's al Ghul - that way the fact that they know each other becomes an important plot point when he meets the Demon's Head for the first time (as you'll see in the next act). Not much going on in this clip other than the meeting, but it serves as the act out just to remind fans of TDKR how misguided the use (not to mention the casting choice) of Talia was in the film.

Batman Power Hour Companion: Act 2

Here's the commentary for Act 2 (of 6) of my Batman: The Animated Series video power hour. The full video is embedded in the first post in this series or you can go directly to the YouTube link. Please enjoy!

Clips 11 and 12: Pretty Poison
Air: 9 (September 14, 1992)
DVD: 105

Even though Two-Face is one of the most iconic villains in the Batman universe (he appears in seven episodes, tied with Catwoman and trailing only the Joker and Harley Quinn), his two-part origin story has to happen later in the timeline than Clayface's, because his pre-Two-Face character plays a pivotal role in the origin of another villain: Poison Ivy. The first of two clips from this episode not only sets up Pamela Isley's dastardly attack on Gotham's dashing district attorney, it also offers a rare glimpse into Bruce Wayne and Harvey Dent's relationship. I think having those two be close friends adds much more to the Batman/Two-Face dynamic than making them rivals for the same girl's affection, to which they were reduced in Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight. It adds an extra reason for the hero to want to save/rehabilitate the villain over and above the traditional reasons, like the two being opposed on the good/evil spectrum.

Poison Ivy's introduction - as in the Clayface clip that ended "Act 1" of the Power Hour - is the first time we hear the character's villain name, both times spoken by the villain his/herself. Like the preceding clip, this one is less about action and more about Poison Ivy's origin story, which she courteously narrates to Batman while he's immobilized by a perverse Little Shop of Horrors-esque giant fly trap. Some incarnations of Poison Ivy give her the power of controlling her victims with mind-affecting pheromones, but I find her a plenty powerful enough force given just her army of mutated plants and her natural immunity to poisons and toxins; not to mention that she's skilled enough in botany which allows her to use her nasty poisonous lipsticks (and their corresponding antidotes, of course).


Clips 13 and 14: Two-Face, Part 1
Air: 17 (September 25, 199)
DVD: 110

It's appropriate that the second two-part origin story in the show's timeline centers on a character with a predilection for all things binary. The first clip from this episode shows the tragic chemical plant explosion that transformed Harvey Dent into Two-Face - a departure from the villain's comic book origin where he is disfigured by a vial of acid thrown in his face during a trial. The second clip is arguably the most emotional and frightening reveal of the entire show, when the audience (along with Harvey Dent's fiancée Grace) first sees Two-Face in all his blue-tinted glory. But what's not included in the power hour is as important as what is: Harvey Dent's slow journey to insanity, due to the pressures of fighting crime while on the campaign trail, the destructive psychiatric effect of deep seated repressed anger issues, and the threat of blackmail from one of Gotham City's most notorious crime bosses. Again, check out the episodes on Amazon if you want the full story.

Speaking of the last plot point, one thing I find especially poignant about the two two-part origin stories we've seen so far, is that they both symbolize a changing of the guard from Gotham's old school crime bosses to the costumed extremists that populate Batman's rogue's gallery. In Feat of Clay, pharmaceutical magnate Roland Daggett (not to be confused with John Daggett from The Dark Knight Rises) produces the chemical that turns Matt Hagen into Clayface. And in Two-Face, Rupert Thorne is the driving force behind Harvey Dent's transformation, both mentally and physically. Thorne and Daggett both continue to play important roles as the series progresses, but it's interesting to see this type of escalation (mentioned by Jim Gordon at the end of Batman Begins) at work.


Clip 15: Two-Face, Part 2
Air: 18 (September 28, 1992)
DVD: 111

In the exciting conclusion of the two-parter, Two-Face has his arch enemy in his sights and is about to put his fate in the hands of "the great equalizer," his trademark two-headed coin. It's never fully explained why the merged psyche of Harvey Dent and Big Bad Harv has an obsession with chance, beyond the fact that his new dual nature makes his life "a dichotomy of order and chaos." Not to keep comparing these episodes with The Dark Knight, but the coin is one plot points, albeit a minor one, that I felt was handled better in Christopher Nolan's movie (although I would have liked to have seen the villain actively scratch off one side of the coin, rather than just having it be passively damaged). Speaking of the movies, Batman's method of foiling his foe - confusing him mid coin flip by tossing a conveniently placed crate of silver dollars at him - was lifted directly for Batman Forever, where Val Kilmer's Batman makes strategic use of his coin purse to defeat Two-Face in the climactic battle.


Clip 16: The Mechanic
Air: 48 (January 24, 1993)
DVD: 155

Again with stories from the movies, anyone who's familiar with Tim Burton's 1992 classic Batman Returns should recognize this plotline, where the Penguin takes control of the Batmobile and drives it around remotely with a helpless Batman trapped inside. Only, this episode uses the backstory and subsequent blackmail of Earl, the mechanic who designed and maintains the current Batmobile, to get into this sequence. And also Robin is there too. This clip is the first (unjustified) departure from my rule of using each villain's first appearance in the series, because the Penguin's debut episode, I've Got Batman in my Basement, has no redeeming qualities except the music (where the Penguin leitmotif is revealed). Oh, and also maybe that scene where the episode's pre-teen protagonists ineffectually try to use the Batmobile's weapons, like an unfunny trip to Q Branch in a James Bond flick.


Clip 17: Vendetta
Air: 21 (October 5, 1992)
DVD: 123

Unlike The Mechanic, this clip from Vendetta is completely by the book: the episode is Killer Croc's first appearance, the clip features his first encounter with Batman, and we even get the villain referring to himself by name. Croc is a difficult character to pin down: in the Arkham Asylum video game, he's portrayed as little more than an overgrown scaly cannibal, while this episode paints him as a gangster with a personal grudge against Harvey Bullock. When he shows up in later shows (he appears in five altogether, one less than the Penguin and Poison Ivy), it's mostly for comic relief. On the technical side, I had to do some clever internal cutting to get around the commercial break between Acts 2 and 3, which stings out with the cliffhanger of Batman being held underwater. Go ahead and watch it again to see if you can spot the edits.

Clip 18: Mad as a Hatter
Air: 24 (October 12, 1992)
DVD: 127

Those of you who are die-hard fans of the series will notice a discrepancy in the music played over this title card. That's because it's actually the Mad Hatter's musical leitmotif from the opening of "Perchance to Dream," the episode that aired two spots after this one. "Perchance" might be my favorite of the episodes not included in the power hour (vying with "Fire from Olympus"), but since its high-concept premise is too complex to capture in even two minute-long clips (no spoilers!), I decided to keep the spirit of the episode alive by using some of its music. Also, it's more descriptive than the eerie atmospheric tones that introduce the actual episode. Although this, his debut appearance, is the only Hatter-centric episode featured in the power hour, his trademark mind-control technique is often co-opted by other villains as a part of their more complex schemes, as evidenced by his five total appearances.


Clip 19: Fear of Victory
Air: 19 (September 29, 1992)
DVD: 124

Although it's admittedly pretty early in the hour to be repeating villains (there are still no fewer than six classic antagonists yet to be introduced), this is a seminal episode because it's the first on-air appearance of Batman's trusty sidekick Robin. Not only that, but it's also the first time we see Scarecrow's visual makeover that will remain through the rest of the series. It's not evident from this clip, but the Boy Wonder has been re-imagined as the College Student Wonder, and earlier in the episode he was dosed by a special variation of Scarecrow's fear toxin that is activated by adrenaline, so his ability to keep it together during his high-flying antics is all the more impressive. In addition, Robin's perfectly-timed circus catch would become one of the clips used in the Season 2 Adventures of Batman and Robin opening title sequence.


Clip 20: Joker's Favor
Air: 7 (September 11, 1992)
DVD: 122

For the end of Act 2, I used a rare clip that doesn't include any villains, but rather allows us to explore the relationship between Batman and another one of his most trusted allies: Commissioner Gordon. It's established early in the show that Gordon is always firmly on the side of the Bat, even when his colleagues on the Gotham Police Force are less than convinced of the masked vigilante's good intentions. It's also established early that Batman is so super stealthy that he can sneak out of a room through a window without even the only other person in the room noticing that he's gone (another trope that was expertly co-opted for Nolan's films). And this is the first episode where that happens.

Batman Power Hour Companion: Act 1

So, I consider myself somewhat of a creative person. And one of the ways that I express my creativity (at least for the past six years) is by assembling and editing Power Hours - the age-old musical drinking game comprised of 60 one-minute-long clips, after each of which the participants all drink a shot of beer. A few years ago, and for a different publication, I outlined my general philosophy behind creating a power hour mix. I still hold to this philosophy for the most part in terms of purely musical power hours, but this past winter I took my first foray into expanding the visual realm, which presents additional concerns and challenges to a familiar format.

After months of tinkering, I presented the fruits of my labor on the YouTubes: a video power hour featuring some of the best, most iconic clips from the masterful 1990s WB show Batman: The Animated Series. I would venture to say it's been pretty well received, at least for a YouTube rookie, with more than 3,100 views over the past two months. My hope is that this project serves as an entertaining and educational trip through my favorite depiction of the Batman universe, and that it both appeals to the tastes of hardcore fans and encourages Bat-n00bs to get into the world of the caped crusader. And if my creation has the added benefit of inspiring a few people to purchase the DVD collections of Batman: The Animated Series (which I wholeheartedly recommend, especially volumes 1 through 3), then hopefully Warner Home Video will allow it to live on the internet unmolested for everyone to enjoy.

Below is the full video of the power hour followed by some of my personal commentary for what I've designated as Act 1 - minutes one thru ten. Five more installments will follow until I've created the official companion to my Batman: The Animated Series Video Power Hour:

Clips 1, 2, and 3: On Leather Wings
Air: 2 (September 6, 1992)
DVD: 101

The first minute of a Batman: The Animated Series power hour has to be the conveniently minute-long Opening Sequence. While this particular minute was taken from the Pilot episode (which was actually second to air), this minute is repeated at the top of every episode of Batman until it was rebranded The Adventures of Batman and Robin part-way through Season 2. That means I've watched this minute at least 70 times when it aired, another 70 times when the DVDs came out, and again 70 times when I re-watched the entire series with my girlfriend. (We've been introducing each other to our favorite shows. So far I've contributed Batman and Arrested Development, she's brought The Wire and Alias. I think we're pretty even at this point...) And even after more than 200 viewings, plus untold reruns and rewatchings, this minute will never get old.

The A.V. Club concisely summarizes the opening within this great feature chronicling the whole series, but suffice it to say it's a brilliantly staged, tonally perfect vignette of a typical Batman situation. Composer Shirley Walker's beautiful orchestration of Danny Elfman's "movie theme" also sets the musical tone for the entire series, and since power hours were originally musical in nature, it's fitting to start with a primarily musical minute. The next minute is predominantly musical as well, as we now get our first taste of the "animated theme" that Walker composed for the series. But going beyond the music, this clip also gives us our first look at two of Batman's most iconic tools: the Batmobile and his all-important grapple gun. This is the first time that Batman uses his signature device in the show's chronology, but he will fire it countless hundreds of times over the course of the series... and he will NEVER MISS. Whether he's standing on the top of a skyscraper or balancing atop a vehicle travelling well in excess of the local speed limit or hurtling through the air in a blind freefall, Batman can whip it out of his utility belt and instantly attach it to the nearest streetlamp or windowsill without even breaking a sweat. Never fails.

The next minute, the third one taken from the Pilot, continues the musical theme, while also continuing the grapple gun theme. In another crack shot, Batman fastens his grappling hook around the ankle of his dark inversion, Man-Bat, and the two of them go flying through the skies. Although the preceding scene - where Kirk Langstrom transforms into Man-Bat - is brilliant and terrifying in its own right, this minute is more visually stunning, and it also provides a better sample of Walker's Man-Bat leitmotif, the first of many such musical themes that we will hear throughout the hour. Also, pay attention to the voice of the pilot of the police blimp (a timeless invention of the show's producers) - it's Kevin Conroy showing his vocal range. Not only does he create distinct voices for Bruce Wayne and Batman (for the first time in the character's filmed history) he also portrays Bruce's father Thomas and lends his talents to the occasional bit part.

Clips 4 and 5: The Cat and the Claw
Air: 1 (September 5, 1992)
DVD: 115

Many think it was strange to feature such an unheralded villain as Man-Bat in the pilot episode, but I understand the producers' motivation for not wanting the pressure of portraying an iconic character in their very first show. The first show to air, however (and thus America's first look at the animated caped crusader) introduced a character who can only be described as an anti-hero. Catwoman (she's not referred to by that name in the episode, nor in Christopher Nolan's most recent movie) never outwardly schemes against Batman and their relationship is always steeped in mutual respect and romantic potential. The first clip shows the first meeting between the two, while also showcasing Catwoman's musical leitmotif, and the second clip features a bit of timely heroics by Batman, followed up by what might be the most awkward rejection in comic book hero history.

Catwoman: You can't deny there's something between us.
Batman: Yes, and I'm afraid it's the law.

A big part of this two-part episode was the juxtaposition between Bruce Wayne's schoolboy crush on Selina Kyle and Catwoman's romantic interest in Batman, playing on how their different identities almost amount to different personalities. This idea was loosely adapted for Nicole Kidman's character in Batman: Forever, except it's much less effective when the love interest is a cut and dry damsel-in-distress rather than a costumed extremist in her own right. Obviously there wasn't enough time in the scope of this power hour to do this plot device justice, which is one reason I think it acts as such an effective marketing tool for the series as a whole.

Clip 6: The Last Laugh
Air: 15 (September 22, 1992)
DVD: 104

With the first two chronological episodes out of the way, it's time to introduce Batman's primary arch-nemesis, the Joker. This was neither the Clown Prince of Crime's first appearance on the air (both Joker's Favor and Be a Clown aired before it) nor on the DVDs (Christmas with the Joker precedes it by two spots), but I thought it was ideal to place first in the power hour for no fewer than three reasons. Number one, this episode features the Joker on his own, without his sidekick Harley Quinn (who was introduced to the world by this series, much like the police blimps). While she has gone on to become a popular character in Batman's rogue's gallery, it makes sense that the Joker should predate her. Number two, it's the most complete and comprehensive version of Joker's musical leitmotif that defines the character through the 12 episodes in which he appears (the most for any villain on the series, naturally). And number three, sometimes it's fun to spend some time with the Joker and his goons as they pull off a heist - cf. the riveting first six minutes of Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight.

Clip 7: Heart of Ice
Air: 3 (September 7, 1992)
DVD: 114

This 20-minute episode did more to define the character of Mr. Freeze than his campy appearances in the 1960s TV show and his laughable portrayal in 1997's Batman and Robin could do to drag him down. Later in the power hour, we'll see more relating to his tragic origin that was imagined for the show rather than taken from the comics. In fact, the character was originally known as Mr. Zero in the comics and didn't become Mr. Freeze until the aforementioned TV series. But this clip serves the purpose of showing the villain in action, as well as getting to hear his punny self-introduction, which amounts to the last vestige of humor to exist in the character. This episode marks one of the four episodes to be directed by series co-creator Bruce Timm, clips from three of which are featured in this power hour.

Clips 8 and 9: Nothing to Fear
Air: 10 (September 15, 1992)
DVD: 103

The first clip from Scarecrow's debut appearance is another great example of how this show uses music to introduce its characters. Although they consciously left out a Batman origin story, our hero meets nearly every villain onscreen - the only ones who are taken for granted as existing before they're introduced during the show are Joker and Penguin. Whenever possible, I tried to showcase these introductions in the power hour, whether they're the villains introducing themselves, their first encounter with Batman, or their first major sequence. And Scarecrow's first use of his hallucinogenic fear toxin - where he induces an attack of acute arachnophobia in an unsuspecting security guard - is top-notch.

In the time between the two clips taken from this episode, Batman gets himself dosed with some time-released fear toxin and has to deal with a reaction in the worst possible circumstances: while hanging from a damaged blimp hundreds of feet above the city. Naturally, Batman's worst fear involves his parents, as he's beset with images of his father calling him a disgrace to the family name. In a display of sheer willpower, our hero talks himself out of the bad trip, dispelling his ghostly tormentor by uttering one of the most iconic self-descriptive lines in his long history: "I am vengeance! I am the night! I AM BATMAN!"

Clip 10: Feat of Clay, Part 2
Air: 5 (September 9, 1992)
DVD: 121

This climactic battle against Clayface happens near the end of his two-part origin story, the first of two villains to receive such treatment. In an interesting twist, the man who becomes Clayface in the show shares characteristics of both the golden age (1940s) and silver age (1960s) versions of the character: he starts out as a B-movie actor, like the golden age Basil Karlo, but he has the name of the silver age Matt Hagen. This sequence doesn't tell us much about Clayface's story, whatever his name happens to be, but it features some top-notch action - illustrated by the fact that every attack he throws at Batman in the episode became part of his moveset as the final boss of 2011's award winning video game Batman: Arkham City. And if this encounter is good enough to end one of the greatest video games of all times, it's good enough to be the first act-out of my power hour.

Liveblogging: BOS @ LAA, 7/7/13

This is a different model than the one that drove by me on the 405 today.

As I was driving towards the westside of LA from the Valley this morning, I was startled to see out of my window, fast approaching from the rear, Mike Trout's giant torso. The medium close up of the Angels All-Star outfielder was at least 12' tall, plastered to the side of a party bus, and posed as if he was ready to tee up on the car next to me on the freeway. Yes, the Halo Express was charging full speed down towards Anaheim in The O.C. in preparation for the Angels' big match against the Boston Red Sox. After getting over the initial sense of startledness at the sight of half a giant advancing on me, I didn't fail to notice the irony that a bus supporting a team whose name somehow includes Los Angeles was going about as fast as it could away from Los Angeles. Then I thought it was a sign that I should do one more roster project this weekend for tonight's ESPN Sunday Night Baseball matchup.

Tonight's visiting starter is John Lackey, the former Angel who apparently maintains a friendship with the Angels' projected ace Jered Weaver. Boston's lineup has four discrepancies with its Sports Illustrated projected lineup: Shane Victorino is getting a day off in favor of benchwarmer Mike Carp. Jonny Gomes is out of left field in favor of Daniel Nava, a borderline All-Star snub this year. Will Middlebrooks has been demoted to the minors and Stephen Drew is out with an injury, which takes care of the whole left side of the infield. The Angels have three: Mark Trumbo is out with veteran non-roster invitee Brad Hawpe taking his place at first base. Center fielder Peter Bourjos reinjured himself almost immediately after returning from the DL, and another NRI J.B. Shuck takes his place at the top of the lineup, forcing Trout back to CF.

First Pitch was at 8:05 ET, right at the start of primetime, so let's see how the teams fare. Stay tuned for the lineups.


Middle of the 4th inning (6:19pm PT) - BOS 0, LAA 1

Mike Trout's home run is still the difference in this game as both Weaver and Lackey are pitching well. My gut tells me that Lackey has more command today, but the Boston bats just have to wake up behind him. Angels try to add on as I give you the active roster of the visiting Boston Red Sox:

If there's a primary reason why this team is leading the AL East, it's not their starting staff. Lackey, projected to be the fifth starter, leads all active Red Sox in points and PPG. Of course the real story of this pitching staff is All-Star Clay Buchholz - what you don't see above, since he's on the 15-Day DL, is that Buchholz is running a fantasy line of 1,188 with 99.0 PPG, potentially Cy Young Award caliber. Taking his place is a tenuous combination of bad egg Alfredo Aceves (recalled and optioned start by start) and the team's #4 (MLB) prospect (#49 overall, BA) Allen Webster. Their next-highest ranked prospect, Jose Iglesias (#6 on the team, not in Baseball America's top 100) is currently playing double duty, filing in for the ineffective Will Middlebrooks at 3B injured J.D. Drew at SS - Brock Holt, late of the Pirates, was called up to start at the hot corner tonight.

Holt is the only active piece of the trade that brought the Red Sox their projected closer Joel Hanrahan, who is currently languishing on the 60-Day DL and not part of the team's 40-man roster. Surprisingly though former setup man Koji Uehara is getting more recent save situations than former Rookie of the Year closer Andrew Bailey, but you have to go with who's hot. Speaking of who's hot, this team's offense has two AL All-Stars and one notable snub. David Ortiz has gotten his groove back and will start at DH. Dustin Pedroia has been playing better than Robinson Cano, but will have to be content with a bench spot behind his New York rival. But overall points leader Jacoby Ellsbury was passed up in favor of two sub-1,000-point reserve outfielders: Alex Gordon and Torii Hunter, Detroit's SIXTH All-Star, so it's not like they needed a representative. And can we talk about how the AL is carrying THREE catchers? And Ben Zobrist is on the team over Josh Donaldson (or Evan Longoria, for that matter). I think the Commissioner's Office is stacking this thing for the NL. You heard it here first.

End of the 8th inning (7:50pm PT) - BOS 0, LAA 3

The Angels have tacked on a couple of insurance runs and as we head to the last six outs of the game, it's time to check out their roster:

After the giant free agent contract they awarded Josh Hamilton, the Angels were consensus favorites to run away with the AL West this year. Instead they're languishing in third place, 8.5 games behind the A's. A big part of this disappointment is a cobbled together pitching rotation that hasn't been able to find adequate replacements for Jason Vargas and Tommy Hanson when they went down with injuries. And while Ernesto Frieri has developed into the only competent member of this bullpen, he wasn't even supposed to fill that role, but Ryan Madson just hasn't been able to recover from last year's Tommy John surgery.

Trout is their top player, although not quite living up to his #1 rank. He deserves to be this train wreck of a team's lone All-Star representative, although Howie Kendrick could be considered a snub in some circles. Mark Trumbo is the team's other 1,000 point contributor as the pure power hitter has taken over 1B with Albert Pujols relegated to mostly DH duties with a chronic case of oldness. Two bench roles are occupied by mid-season acquisitions: Brad Hawpe was signed after being released by Pittsburgh, and Collin Cowgill came over in a trade with the Mets, who got him from the A's before the season started.

Well, Frieri has closed it out, giving the Angels a 2-1 series victory. Let's hope this doesn't signal any kind of boost in momentum for the Halos, cuz it would sure be nice if the A's could go into the All-Star break leading the division. In the meantime, watch this space for a very special birthday post tomorrow morning!

Liveblogging: Athletics @ Royals, 7/6/13

Middle of the 6th inning (12:50pm) - OAK 3, KCR 2

Every day of the baseball season, MLB.com releases one game for free viewing, for the benefit of us spendthrifts who are too cheap to pay for either a cable package or a subscription to MLB.tv premium. Today's free game happens to feature the Oakland Athletics returning to their former haunting grounds of Kansas City to face the Royals. It's a fitting matchup, as the A's are currently embroiled in a legal battle with Major League Baseball for permission to make the franchise's third move in its 112-year history. I'll take this opportunity to examine each team's active roster, starting with the visitors:

1,000 fantasy points is an important milestone at the halfway point of the season, and the A's roster features three players who have reached it, one from each player category: starter, reliever, and position player. Bartolo Colon has turned into the improbable ace of this staff at age 40 and in the year after his 50-game suspension for PED use. Colon's been implicated in the Biogenesis scandal, so if that case is resolved before the end of the season, Oakland could be scrambling to find another starter on the waiver wire. Australian closer Grant Balfour has just tied Dennis Eckersley's franchise record for most consecutive saves, but he's long since broken the record for profanities uttered on the air. Josh Donaldson has been the biggest story of this offense, and while all three of these players have legitimate All-Star aspirations, the converted catcher might have the hardest road to New York, as he'll have to compete with such top hot cornermen as Miguel Cabrera, Evan Longoria, and Manny Machado.

For all Donaldson's brilliance, he trails speedy center fielder Coco Crisp by 1.0 PPG for the team lead in that column. Had Crisp not missed time with various injuries, his hot start would have definitely netted him an All-Star berth, if not a starting spot - we'll find out if he will be included in the festivities tonight at 6:30pm ET. Looking at the Pos 2 column, we can catch a glimpse of manager Bob Melvin's lineup construction strategy, as he uses the DH slot as a revolving door for his banged-up outfielders (and John Jaso, who may or may not be the player who unintentionally bared his unmentionables during a locker room interview with Josh Donaldson last month).

As Donaldson just gave the A's the lead with a solo home run in the top of the 6th inning, it's time to pause long enough for me to do some research into Kansas City's lineup. See you in a couple of innings!

Bottom of the 8th inning (1:30pm) - OAK 3, KCR 3

Turns out it took me about two innings to do the due diligence on the Royals, which is just as much time it took them to tie the game at 3. Here's how the third place team in the AL Central stacks up:

A quick glance at the all-important points column shows that KC has just two players past the 1,000 point barrier, and they're both pitchers: fellow surprising staff ace Ervin Santana and closer Greg Holland. Their big offseason acquisition James Shields and top offensive performer Alex Gordon are very close to the milestone with just under 20 and just under 50 points to go, respectively. Gordon just returned to action today after undergoing extensive concussion-related tests resulting from a crash into the outfield wall. Gordon actually started his career as a third baseman, but was shifted to the outfield after breaking his hand early in his career, and he's responded well to the positional shift.

Despite the impression that this team is constantly rebuilding, they are carrying only one rookie on their roster: outfielder David Lough (pronounced LOW) who takes the place of recently-DFA'd veteran Jeff Francoeur. I'm sure A's fans will be disappointed by his cut, as he has forged a relationship with Coliseum dwellers through his self-funded promotional day "Bacon Tuesday." In another roster shift, projected starting second baseman Chris Getz has been sent down in favor of youngster Johnny Giavotella, who tore it up in the Pacific Coast League last year (not necessarily a tough feat). However, neither he nor projected starting shortstop Alcides Escobar are in the lineup tonight, as they give way to former A Miguel Tejada and Elliot Johnson, respectively.

As Josh Donaldson fails to produce with a runner on base, we head to the bottom of the 8th inning with this game still tied.

End of the 9th (1:57pm) - OAK 3, KCR 4

So it goes: the Royals add to their league lead in come-from-behind victories, as a combination Yoenis Cespedes's failure to score from first on a two-out double early on and a costly Adam Rosales fielding error cost Ryan Cook and the A's the game. Rubber game tomorrow as this series is now tied at a game apiece, but I won't be able to watch it because MLB.tv's free game is the Reds hosting the Mariners in a historic "Ken Griffey-off". Now all we can do is watch the scoreboard and hope Erik Bedard and the Astros somehow keep Texas from pulling a half game ahead of the A's tonight.

Thursday Morning Quarterback: D-Backs @ Mets, 7/3/13

I've talked a lot about using the various nationally televised baseball games as a framework to narrow my focus on the sport, and with these last two posts I've been putting it into practice. Last night the Arizona Diamondbacks settled in for their third of four games against the New York Mets for ESPN's July 3rd edition of Wednesday Night Baseball. The D-Backs and the Metropolitans (to use the two teams' shortened and elongated nicknames, respectively) actually have rosters that look quite similar to one another on paper. Each team has one sophomore pitching superstar - Patrick Corbin has emerged as one of the best lefties in the game and is the anchor for my very own fantasy astrology Cancer Crabs, while an All-Star starting gig is not out of reach of last night's starter Matt Harvey. And each team has one franchise player who's under contract until the end of the decade and beyond, respectively - first baseman Paul Goldschmidt and third baseman David Wright both signed lucrative extensions that kick in next year. The only difference is that Arizona is in first place in their weak division while New York NL is languishing behind the Braves and Nationals in theirs.

I didn't get to watch yesterday's game, since I have a real job - all I know is that Arizona pulled out a narrow victory and now can only hope for a series split with a win today. But before going over the box score in detail, I'd like to very briefly go team-by-team through the rosters and how they've performed thus far.

Rotation: After Corbin, this rotation gets very sad, with fellow lefty Wade Miley and former 20-game winner Ian Kennedy (who was just recently suspended for throwing at all the Dodgers) have put up surprisingly middling numbers. Last night's starter Randall Delgado, one of the pieces that came over from the Braves in the Justin Upton deal, has been hurt most of the season and hasn't even made the requisite 5 starts to qualify as a 1 SP (denoted by the --- in his Pos 2 column). Not pictured are injured starters Trevor Cahill and Brandon McCarthy (both former A's), who have both averaged about 6 fewer PPG than Miley and Kennedy, and the organization's #1 prospect Tyler Skaggs (#12 overall, according to Baseball America), who has been recalled on a start-by-start basis, presumably to keep his major league service time down and prevent Super Two status, but if this pennant race drags on, I don't know if they can afford to keep him in the minors.

Bullpen: Projected closer J.J. Putz was just recently activated from the DL, but it remains to be seen whether he will immediately take back the 9th or if placeholder Heath Bell will keep the job a little longer. None of the new additions have panned out as well as their holdovers: another former Athletic Brad Ziegler and decidedly un-clutch setup man David Hernandez have put up close to respectable numbers for relievers, but the real story has been long man Josh Collmenter who has really adapted well in his first season without a game started.

Infield: In what's becoming a theme for this team, second baseman Aaron Hill, who sports the second highest team PPG to assured All-Star starter Goldschmidt, has just come off the DL. In his absence, second sack was manned primarily by Willie Bloomquist (now on the DL himself), Martin Prado (who shifted over from 3B, which was taken over by Eric Chavez on those days) and Cliff Pennington (who's been splitting time at SS with rookie Didi Gregorius, who went unranked by MLB.com to start the season).

Outfield: The centerpiece of this outfield was supposed to be rookie leadoff man Adam Eaton (not the retired pitcher of the same name), but he hasn't yet played a game in 2013 due to injury. Luckily another rookie, A.J. Pollock, has filled in adequately in CF while Gerardo Parra has blossomed into the second most productive member of the offense, behind Goldy. Maybe all it took was the impending threat of an arbitration hearing to get him feeling good about himself. Neither of their high-price veteran corner outfielders have done anything close to productive: Jason Kubel and Cody Ross are making a combined $13.5 million and have produced an average of 7.3 PPG this year.

Rotation: Again we're seeing a very top-heavy rotation here: after Harvey = sadness. Jeremy Hefner and Dillon Gee are this team's versions of Miley and Kennedy, and Shaun Marcum's performance on a 1yr flier is about on par with McCarthy/Cahill. Also like Arizona, an injury to opening day starter Jon Niese has forced New York to start the future of their pitching staff early: the organization's #2 prospect (#11 overall) Zack Wheeler has earned himself a spot on this staff for the foreseeable future.

Bullpen: Talk about a bullpen makeover: after surprisingly effective closer Bobby Parnell (who has already almost equalled his fantasy point total from last year), none of the regular contributors were on this team last year. Veteran LaTroy Hawkins and lefty Scott Rice made the team out of Spring Training, Brandon Lyon, brought in on a deal worth less than $1mm, was supposed to show setup man potential, and David Aardsma (not the Waste Management executive) finally found his way back to the majors after being cut by both the Yankees and the Marlins (ouch).

Infield: This team's offense after David Wright may be even more sad than the pitching after Matt Harvey. Don't get me wrong, Daniel Murphy is having a solid season up the middle and John Buck's stats are still being boosted by his absolutely torrid start. But starting shortstop Ruben Tejada is injured and 1B Ike Davis has been optioned to the minors (after being ranked in the top 200 to start the year), but replacements Omar Quintanilla and Josh Satin have actually been performing better than the originals.

Outfield: It's sad when your outfield points leader is non-roster invitee Marlon Byrd, but that's the beauty of bad teams: they give otherwise over-the-hill players a chance to shine. Rick Ankiel was another such player, but he was cut last month - if he hadn't been, he would be the second highest-scoring outfielder on the roster. As it stands, that honor goes to Lucas Duda, who is sadly currently on the DL. So for me, the best outfield I can make out of this ragtag bunch is Byrd in RF, firebrand Jordany Valdespin in CF, and the newest member of the Mets Eric Young, Jr. (recently acquired from the Rockies) in LF.

Last Night's Game: As it happened, Valdespin sat out of the lineup in favor of Santa Monica native Kirk Nieuwenhuis, the one who was called up in favor of Ankiel. The rest of the Mets lineup managed three home runs - from Wright, Murphy, and Satin - but as they were all solo shots, they couldn't overcome Cody Ross's three-run blasts in the 6th inning. Chavez added an RBI on a double while subbing for Goldschmidt at 1B, as did C Miguel Montero. Also subbing in for a regular starter was Tony Campana who was called up yesterday prior to the game.

On the pitching front, after Delgado's 7 strong innings, Arizona called on David Hernandez for his 10th hold and Heath Bell for his 15th save, keeping Putz's situation somewhat in limbo. I'd guess they want to warm him up with some lower leverage innings before thrusting him back into the spotlight. Harvey punched out 9 batters over his 6 innings of work before giving way to New York's hodgepodge of a bullpen, not that it mattered after the 5 runs that Harvey gave up.

The final game of the series starts presently, with Ian Kennedy taking on Dillon Gee. Let's see if the headhunter can lead his snakes to a split or whether "Soft G" can help his team take 3 of 4.

Liveblogging Yankees @ Orioles, 6/30/13

Middle of the 5th inning (6:37 pm) - BAL 3, NYY 1

Coming in halfway through the Orioles' game against the Yankees, it's been all birds up to this point, with Baltimore pulling off a hat trick of solo home runs. All three have come off New York's ace (at least statistically so far) Hiroki Kuroda. The only damage on the other side has been a bases loaded walk - a mistake that was more shameful than damaging - by the O's statistical ace Chris Tillman.

Coming in halfway through the Orioles game with the Yankees tonight makes a certain amount of sense, because we're also coming in halfway through the baseball season. That's a large enough sample size to establish a statistical base for 2013, but it's not until the All-Star Break, on July 16th, that I pause and take stock of current stats for all players on all teams.

However, I couldn't wait another two and a half weeks, so I did a trial run of my roster project/experiment with the participants in tonight's ESPN Sunday Night Baseball matchup. What follows are the raw (and quite sloppily captured) statistical data for the active rosters of each team.

Trying to work in the scientific method as much as possible, that's the "evidence" as clear as I could gather it. I'll be back in the later innings with the results section.


Bottom of the 7th inning (7:30 pm) - BAL 3, NYY 2

As my computer falls to 24% battery life, Yankees no. 24 Robinson Cano just hits a smooth home run putting New York within 1. He's NYY's top offensive scorer, and it'll make a pretty scary lineup with him hitting in front of Baltimore's offensive scoring leader Chris Davis in the All-Star Game in a couple weeks. Of course, the winners aren't announced until July 6, but those two are who I picked and I'm pretty confident I picked winners this year.

At least in terms of my All-Star ballot, if not my fantasy team. I also voted for Adam Jones in the OF and J.J. Hardy at short - although I didn't vote for Nick Markakis, since I would rather see Joey Bats in the lineup. I am a strong believer that at midseason, the 1,000 fantasy point threshhold is an important milestone to denote All-Stars in all possible cases. Manny Machado, the new leader of the division-leading Cancer Crabs in my Fantasy Astrology league, is having a tremendous season, but there's no way he loses to defending Triple Crown winner Miguel Cabrera for the starting 3B job.

In terms of starting pitching, I also picked both of tonight's starters in one of my leagues, but I've since streamed out Tillman for better weekly matchups. And now the Orioles have done the same, calling on one of their top relievers, sidearmer Darren O'Day. He's actually fallen to third on the RP depth chart behind closer Jim Johnson (the team's pitching points leader) and former starter Tommy Hunter (who came over from Texas in the same deal as megaslugger Davis). Mariano Rivera also leads the Yankees pitching staff in points, but tonight's starter Kuroda joins him in the thousand point club.

O'Day gets the second out in the 7th and will stay in to face the lefty Ichiro, just a shell of his former self. There are a lot of lefties at the top of the Yankees order, but I agree with Buck Showalter leaving in the righty and letting him finish the inning he started. And both our gut feelings paid off as Ichiro goes down with a shallow pop-up.

So that was all the elite players on either active roster. As Kuroda comes back for his half of the 7th, we'll see if I have one more post in me before the end of this game.

Top of the 9th inning ( pm) - BAL 4, NYY 2

Jim Johnson is coming in with a save situation, and I can't think of anyone I'd rather have closing games either for the Cancer Crabs or for the Baltimore Orioles. He's also been the third most dependable closer in the AL behind his opponent's 9th inning stopper and Joe Nathan of the Rangers. A lot of people looked at his relatively low strikeout rate and thought that all those saves were smoke and mirrors, but he's consistently shown that he knows how to get batters out in high-leverage situations.

Except apparently not veteran lefty 1B Lyle Overbay, their second stringer behind out-for-the-season Mark Teixeira, who just laced a double into the left center field gap. Now Johnson will face the tying run in Jayson Nix, who's filling in for Derek Jeter. But a good two-seam fastball sits him down, leading to the third second stringer in a row Chris Stewart, who gets drilled by the pitch bringing up the Yanks' only third stringer in the lineup, 3B David Adams. The rookie is behind both the injured Alex Rodriguez (Biogenesis scandal notwithstanding) and Kevin Youkilis, and showed his ineptitude with a big strikeout.

Now the Yankees' only chance to avoid a sweep by the Orioles rests on the shoulders of leadoff hitter and center fielder Brett Gardner. I was going to write something about how he took over the outfield captain's position from Curtis Granderson when he broke his forearm in Spring Training, but he aggressively swings at the first pitch and knocks a big, appropriately titled Baltimore Chop up the middle, which was niftily handled by Ryan Flaherty to end the game.

SportsCenter tells me that there is an NBA free agent frenzy, so I'll just go ahead and switch over to Keeping Up With the Kardashians on E! to watch Bruce deal with his hearing problem. Fun Fact: I once played soccer with Bruce Jenner in the parents/kids practice of my boyhood soccer team - which means I played soccer with Rob Kardashian by extension, a fact I'm less excited about, him not being an Olympic decathlete or anything. Not that I'm not superexcited to hear about how his sock line goes...

But regardless of how reality TV's first family fares in their new episode tonight at 9, this matchup is over, and with it this week's worth of baseball. Jim Johnson helped the O's hang on and add another game in their lead over the Yankees. Also, despite Chris Davis's monster week, his Pisces Fish could not prevail in their battle with the Cancer Crabs, led by Davis's teammates Machado and Johnson. So enjoy the charts until either my next roster project trial run or until the All-Star Break. Or until I decide to write about something other than baseball, like my Batman: The Animated Series Video Power Hour, which this week has eclipsed 2,000 views on the YouTubes. Only time will tell!

Astrology Baseball 2013: 1/3 of Way Through the Season Recap

Looking back at my recent output, it's clear that I've had an extremely unproductive Gemini. I wish I could say it was a conscious choice to go on hiatus for this particular astrological cycle, but the truth of the matter is that I just haven't been motivated to analyze my Topps 1992-inspired 40 man roster. As it happens, for the last couple of weeks I've been less interested in 20 year old baseball cards than I have been in 15 year old Magic: The Gathering cards, a whole tub of which my friend just recently uncovered. (It's very possible that you'll see a post about them in the near future, as I have tried my hand at blogging about Magic before.) And on the baseball front, I've been paying more attention to the current rather than the historical side of things, specifically how they relate to my Fantasy Astrology League. After all, with the Summer Solstice fast approaching, we could start seeing some big upheaval in the standings, and I want to talk a little bit about how things are going before that momentous event.

As you'll no doubt recall, this year I split the league into four divisions of three teams each - one for each of the classical elements (Fire, Earth, Air, and Water). Even though I'm pretty sure the ESPN fantasy client ignores these divisions and just picks the teams with the four best records to participate in the playoffs (I'm not a savvy enough commissioner to figure out how to change that), I'd like to go over how the current division leaders' teams stack up compared to their projected lineups.

Darvish's Leo uniform should really be orange, but you get the idea

The first team in any conversation about Fantasy Astrology 2013 (if indeed there are any aside from this one) has to be the surprisingly strong Leo Lions. After finishing 2012 in a three-way tie for 5th in the league with a .500 record, Leo is currently sitting on the most wins in the league (by only one win, but it's still an impressive jump). Their attack is fueled by three pitchers who are averaging at least 90 points per game: Topps 2012 All-Star Rookie Yu Darvish (90.1), still unbeaten Max Scherzer (94.5), and Clay Buchholz (99.0), sore neck notwithstanding. Most teams would kill to have Madison Bumgarner (averaging more than 60 PPG himself) as a fourth starter, but after those four (who are all owned in 100% of fantasy leagues), the pitching depth falls off considerably. The next most popular pitcher they have is Huston Street, who is owned in less than 3/4 of fantasy leagues, but a lot of that might have to do with the fact that he was just activated from the DL today. Injuries have also hit this staff particularly hard - before Street's activation, more than half of their top 15 ranked pitchers going into the season were on the DL (including Ryan Vogelsong, Brandon Morrow, and Chad Billingsley), so it's scary to think how good this crew could be if healthy.

The offense has also had some injury troubles, the highest profile case being Alex Rodriguez's recovery from surgery, which could end up being made moot by a Biogenesis-related suspension. The team has been able to roll with the more recent punches due to either depth (Mark Reynolds was able to vacate the DH slot when Pablo Sandoval went down) or surprise breakout rookie performances (Wilson Ramos's setback in his recovery from a hamstring injury doesn't hit nearly as hard considering they have Evan Gattis to step in). Carl Crawford's most recent trip to the DL would have been easier to swallow had Jason Heyward and B.J. Upton not been shitting the proverbial bed all season, leaving them to rely on Colby Rasmus or Zack Cozart for the DH slot. In addition to Heyward and Sandoval, this team has five batters who are owned in 100% of fantasy leagues: outfielders Mike Trout and Adam Jones (the only offenders with more than 1,000 points each), 2B Dustin Pedroia (who's apparently been playing through a torn thumb ligament, which could mean more playing time for backup Ryan Flaherty down the line), J.J. Hardy (who's leading the AL in All-Star votes at SS), and 1B Anthony Rizzo.

Imagine Miggy's Aries uniform as red...

Leo's runner-up in the Fire division is one of three teams tied for second place overall: last year's runner-up the Aries Rams. By far the scariest team on paper, this squad leads the pack with a whopping 19 players owned in 100% of all leagues, the best of which is reigning Triple Crown winner Miguel Cabrera (who also leads all of baseball in fantasy points). The three (count 'em, 3) 100% catchers are all neck and neck in points - Buster Posey (774), Joe Mauer (762), and Carlos Santana (725) - and although all three are eligible at 1B, the two runners up are currently taking a backseat to Michael Cuddyer (791) at that position and Adrian Beltre (898) at DH, which pushes the slumping Billy Butler and the recently activated Mark Teixeira to the bench. All three outfielders are also 100% owned, with Hunter Pence on pace for a 30-30 year, Dexter Fowler enjoying a breakout year, and Jay Bruce chugging right along. In fact, the only non-100-percenter in the starting lineup is A's SS Jed Lowrie, who is currently performing better than Starlin Castro of the Cubs. The only DL-eligible hitter is Aaron Hill, but thankfully they have Jason Kipnis and Daniel Murphy ready to step in.

Like Leo, Aries has three starters with more than 1,000 points - Hisashi Iwakuma (1,306), Matt Harvey (1,236), and Felix Hernandez (1,141) - but only Iwakuma is averaging more than 90 PPG (93.3). Their other two starters in the rotation (Chris Sale and Hyun-Jin Ryu) are also 100% owned, with their sixth starter, Justin Masterson, just one percentage point behind. If this team has one weakness, it's the bullpen, with John Axford recently having lost his closer's job, Jose Valverde pretty clearly on the way out, and only middle relievers behind them.

Oops, no logo visible on this one...
At least the coloring is somewhat correct.

The other participant in last year's finals, the Libra Scales, are right behind Aries with 18 100%-owned players. 11 of them are on the offensive side, although 3 of those 10 (Matt Kemp, Bryce Harper, and as of today Troy Tulowitzki) are on the 15-day DL, with Yoenis Cespedes possibly (although hopefully not) to join them soon. The other 7, including AL Home Run Derby captain Robinson Cano, team point leader Carlos Gonzalez (1,257), and Pirates outfield duo Andrew McCutchen and Starling Marte, are holding down the fort just fine, as they are leading the Air division by a comfortable 3 games.

On the pitching side, the team has gotten a lot more production from their #'s 6-10 ranked starters than their 1-5's, tops among them Cardinals rookie sensation Shelby Miller. The return of Jered Weaver and the metal plate holding Zack Greinke's collar bone in place should help shore up a pitching staff that is relying on Alex Cobb and Derek Holland to compensate for Matt Cain's failure to live up to the expectations set by last year's perfect game (although his most recent outing against the Pirates might forecast a return to form). Libra's projected bullpen took a hit due to injury (Joel Hanrahan) or ineffectiveness (Carlos Marmol), but they've got two replacements who have actually been used to close games in Jose Veras (albeit for the Astros) and Canadian star Jim Henderson (who hasn't officially regained the role after coming off the DL last week).

Again, this Virgo uniform for Wainwright should be blue

The third team tied for the second best record in the league is Virgo of the Earth division; they have 14 100%-owned players, for sake of comparison. Even after losing Matt Kemp, the outfield has enjoyed solid performances from NL home run leader and May Player of the Monthy Domonic Brown (19), AL stolen base leader Jacoby Ellsbury (30), and April Player of the Month Justin Upton, who has since cooled off considerably. Their logjam at 1B - Paul Goldschmidt (1,130), Joey Votto (999), and Freddie Freeman (714) - is a good problem to have, and Brett Gardner (800) and Ian Desmond (737) round out the players who have broken the 700-point barrier. Adam Wainwright (who just recorded his 1,000th career strikeout) and Cliff Lee present one of the best righty-lefty combos in baseball, and the rotation will only get stronger with the returns of David Price, Matt Harrison, and Brandon Beachy. The bullpen sports two legit closers, but just barely, and if anything happens to either Casey Janssen or Bobby Parnell, there is not a whole lot of help waiting in the wings.

The Water division is locked up in a tie right now with both Cancer and Scorpio playing .500 ball thus far, so this seems like a good opportunity to do a position-by-position comparison (with the winning player's team listed next to hi name). Behind the plate, Mike Napoli (SCO) has outscored Yadier Molina, but remember that Napoli can only play there because of an eligibility loophole. Adam LaRoche has outplayed his intra-team competition at 1B (Eric Hosmer and Adam Dunn), but he hasn't measured up to Allen Craig (CAN), and he's even got OF eligibility. Marco Scutaro has been heating up lately at 2B for the Giants, but he's been outscored by both Brandon Phillips (CAN) and Howard "sometimes Howie" Kendrick, and when Ian Kinsler returns he'll also be a better option. Preseason rankings would have favored Martin Prado over Kyle Seager at 3B even though 2013 so far has had the opposite results, but neither of them would measure up to Orioles phenom Manny Machado (CAN). Scorpio had a similar rankings situation with shortstops - Asdrubal Cabrera (injury notwithstanding) hasn't measured up to NL steals leader Everth Cabrera (SCO) - but both of them have outplayed the black hole Cancer suffers from while they wait for Derek Jeter to return (Marlins rookie Derek Dietritch has recently emerged as an extremely deep replacement option).

In CF, Shin-Soo Choo (CAN) has the lead in points (887 to 867) even though Coco Crisp has played better (17.7 PPG to 13.6), but I have to give the lead to Choo here just due to Crisp's inability to stay on the field. Going by preseason rankings, the rest of Scorpio's outfield has the clear edge (Ryan Braun and Giancarlo Stanton over Nelson Cruz and Angel Pagan), and while we all know about Braun's slump/legal issues and Stanton's injury troubles, Pagan is also injured and Cruz (with the highest point total of the previous four) is also linked to the Biogenesis scandal. Looking at the fourth outfield situation, Nate McLouth's (SCO) resurgent season with the Orioles has trumped Torii Hunter's stability with the Tigers.

On the mound, no starter compares to Patrick Corbin (CAN 1,086) but no reliever compares to Jason Grilli (SCO 1,111). Even with Stephen Strasburg's (CAN) injury, the only other non-Corbin pitchers to surpass him in points are Cincinnati's Mike Leake and Pirates rookie sensation Jeff Locke (SCO), although CC Sabathia and Paul Maholm (CAN) are not far behind. On the Scorpio side, Francisco Liriano's return to form has almost made up for R.A. Dickey's regression and Ricky Romero's demotion, while Cancer has to rely on Tim Hudson and Phil Hughes to shore up the rotation until Jaime Garcia and Wei-Yin Chen return. In the bullpen, Jim Johnson and Ernesto Frieri haven't measured up to the combo of Grilli and Greg Holland (SCO), but Cancer also has injured All-Star closers Chris Perez and Jason Motte taking up space on the roster. Judging by my extremely unscientific evaluation method, it's a dead heat between these two teams who were separated by 8 spots in my extremely unscientific rankings prior to the season.

So there you have it: what was supposed to be an evaluation of the four division leaders turned into a profile of half the league. During the All-Star Break I will be completely occupied by updating my 40 man roster project, so I will likely revisit Astrology sometime in the dog days of August, likely right around the Virgo-Leo cusp.